The Class of 2007 BYU Law Blog

To Sydney, by Bus

2005-07-26T20:35:00.000-06:00

A couple of weeks ago, I took a trip to Sydney. For some reason, I had decided to go by bus. I can't quite recall my thought process at the time, but I think it had something to do with saving 60 dollars and being inordinately frustrated with the shuttle to Brisbane Airport. Anyway, an hour after work I found myself sitting at the buss terminal surrounded by 50 teenaged boys carrying on as though they had just won a rugby championship, waiting for the get-on, get-off bus to take them to see more sights in Surfers Paradise (a city not unlike Las Vegas in its tackiness).

Thankfully, my bus came, and it was not the same as their bus. The driver of the Greyhound got out, sat in the luggage compartment and started to take tickets. "11-A," he said cheerily. I got on and followed the number placards back to my seat, which was right by the toilet. I groaned softly to myself. We took off and a movie started. This might just be tolerable, I thought, but then the title card came on the screen. I was to be treated to a movie named "Sleepover." Yipee. If there's one thing better than movies made for 12-year-old girls, it's straight-to-video movies made for 12-year-old girls. I sunk back in my seat. At least the bus was fairly empty.

About an hour after we departed, one of the panssengers ambled his way to the back of the bus and opened the door of the toilet. He looked about, shifted uncomfortably, and sighed. He then started patting down the walls, apparently in an effort to find a light switch (Even though it was about 7:00, it's winter here, so it was pitch dark). After about two minutes, his face twisted in a mixture of disappointment and bodily discomfort, he gave up and sat back down in his seat. About ten minutes later, a man walked back to the toilet area. The first passenger had his eyes glued to the man, looking for clues to solve the hidden mystery of the toilet. When it became clear that the man was only getting a drink of water, the passenger slunk down in his seat dejectedly and turned his attentions to the film.

About a half-hour later, I was feeling nature's call as well. Noting the trouble my fellow passenger had faced, I grabbed my iPod and prepared to use it as a flashlight. As I got up, the man sitting behind me gathered what I was up to and said helpfully, "It might turn on when you lock the door." I nodded and acknowledged that he was probably right. And as I stumbled in the cubicle and locked the door, indeed he was correct.

But it wouldn't be as simple as that. As I turned from the door, the light went out and I was plunged into darkness. After running some tests of the highest scientific caliber, I determined that if I kept one hand pressed down on the lock, the light would remain engaged. I'll spare you the grisly details, but suffice it to say that this requirement made using the toilet a bit . . . awkward. I finished and gave my advices to the the passenger who had originally tried to use the toilet as he gleefully clambered into the cubicle to take my place. He seemed to be successful as he came out with a relieved look on his face and retook his seat for a couple of minutes, and then got out at the next stop.

We were at Byron Bay, a quaint village full of people who choose to live an "alternative lifestyle," i.e., hippies. One after another, backpackers filled the bus. The air started to fill with a familiar, funky aroma of patchouli and body odor (apparently the "alternative" to showering). All of my college memories came flooding back. "Dirty hippies!" I wanted to shout, but I held my tongue. Luckily, the girl who sat next to me was not one of the serious offenders, and since neither one of us was much into conversation, I stared out the window and nodded off to sleep.

I woke up to the driver mumbling something over the loudspeaker something about a break as per regulations and a giant prawn. We pulled into the rest area, and I realized my ears were not mistaken. A giant fiberglass prawn was perched on top of a glass building. I think it is the largest prawn in the world, and I'm sure it would be really impressive if you are into giant fiberglass statues of crustaceans. As it was, I was a bit tired and grumpy, so I resisted the urge to take pictures and just walked into the restaurant. I had a burger and chips (for the life of me I'll never get used to having carrots and pickled beets on my burger) and stretched my legs a bit before we were off again.

We were packed back in the bus, driving south, when the TV monitors flickered on again. I waited with baited breath to see what part two of our entertainment would be. I shuddered when the screen flashed "Steven Segal." The movie was "Fire Down Below." For a moment I wondered if the person choosing these movies had tried to get the creepiest, most suggestive titles possible. The movie started, and Mr. Segal's much-acclaimed thespian gifts notwithstanding, I nodded off. I woke up when we made a stop just in time to see Stevie squint his eyes, purse his lips, and kick serious butt. I closed my eyes again and tried to drift back off to sleep when I heard something familiar.

"And Daddy won't you take me back to Muhlenberg county,
Down by the Green River, where Paradise lay.
Well I'm sorry, my son, but you're too late in askin'.
Mr. Peabody's coal train has hauled it away."

I couldn't help but smile as my thoughts drifted back to a place far away but not so long ago.

(So ends the prelude to my adventure in Sydney. Tune in in a day or two for the rest of the story!)

A three-hour tour

2005-07-22T01:04:00.000-06:00

One day while I was paying my rent (a weekly experience here in Australia) I saw a brochure advertising whale watching. I had heard that this was the season for it, and it sounded like a good way to spend a Saturday. After all, I figured I needed more experience with whales than the piece of whale bacon I had eaten in Japan.

I showed up on the river bank at Surfers Paradise a little before 9:00 that saturday. The river was still muddy and full of debris from the floods that had hit two days earlier. The weather had broken just in time, though. Our vessel was a 50-foot catamaran -- nothing too big or fancy, but nice. A tall, wiry fellow, about 23 with with sun-bleached hair welcomed me aboard, checked me in and told me to help myself to tea and biscuits. I took a bit of date cake from the biscuit tray and sat down in the rear of the boat. I was joined on my journey by about eight other passengers and crew of three -- there were too many of us for me to start giving them names from Gilligan's Island (although I tried).

The boot pulled away from the pier and the tall kid started the safety instructions, which was an odd experience. Imagine a college kid looking and talking very much like a surfer going through the safety instructions before takeoff in an airplane. It made kind of a nice change though, I suspect more people would pay attention to the safety instructions if they included bathroom humor and references to the sexual proclivities of other members of the crew.

As we made our way down the river, the skipper came on the loudspeaker and began pointing out the summer homes of the rich and famous, or maybe just the rich, as no one on board seemed to have the slightest notion of who these people were (A side question -- how rich do you have to be to have your own helipad in the back of your house? I don't know the answer, but I saw four of them).

We made our way out past the spit and out to the seaway. This, the crew had warned us, would be the roughest part of the trip. We would essentially be crossing breaking waves. We climbed a wave, then the boat pitched down like a roller coaster into the trough of the next swell. As we went up and down and up and down, I began to regret the date cake. As queasy as I was, there were others who were positively green. I staggered out to the bow as the ship motored out into open water, both to get a better view and avoid watching anyone fil his or her sick bag, which at this point appeared to be inevitable.

Whales were in short supply that morning. The two college-aged boys that made up the crew alternately explained different interesting facts about the whales we were looking for. Southern Humpback whales followed this route to a bay in northern Queensland, to breed and calve. The whales ate mostly krill, and although they were about 60 feet long and weighed several tons, they couldn't swallow anything much larger than the size of your fist. As they explained, we saw a few flying fish and a shark swimming along the bow before the crew spotted the puff of mist that told us our journey wasn't in vain.

We had found a pod of two whales and maneuvered the boat to get a closer look. The first thing that struck me was how big they were. As we stared out into the water, huge greyish-brown eyes stared back at us. The whales surfaced about four times in succession, each time spraying a fishy-smelling mist out of their blowholes. After the fourth time they surfaced, they rounded out and dove deep, disappearing for about two minutes. Then they would surface again and repeat the process.

While the whales never did anything spectacular, I was still amazed that I had seen them at all. Because it had taken so long to find them, our time with the whales was quite short. The crew offered a free trip in the afternoon if we wanted to have another go at finding the whales. Most people on board looked at him like he was suggesting a dip with with a crocodile, but I thought about it and realized I had nothing better to do, so I told them to count me in.

After having a spot of lunch I boarded the ship. The crew had the same spiel as they did in the morning, and I listened to them with a smirk on my face. We crossed the seaway on high tide this time, so everyone was in much higher spirits as we went out searching for whales this time. After about a half-hour's journey, we found a pod. They didn't look too interested in us, though. They were moving quickly to their destination and ended up being kind of boring. It was just as well, because after about 15 minutes with this pod, we noticed a huge splash out on the horizon.

We motored over to find a pod of whales that were just going crazy. Every time the pod would surface from a deep dive, one of the whales would jump entirely out of the water and land on its back with an enormous splash. It was absolutely fantastic, but I was never quick enough to take a picture of it. seven times I watched the whale breach, and seven times, all I got was a big splash. I guess it just wasn't to be. It was a spectacular experience all the same. We pulled into the dock around dusk, sunburned and exhausted. I had some laundry and shopping to do yet, but it really was a good way to spend a Saturday.

Almost got it that time

The Flood

2005-07-15T05:17:00.000-06:00

So a couple of weeks ago, the east coast of Australia had some of the most massive flooding they have had in over 30 years. Rivers overflowed their banks, homes washed away, and much of the Gold Coast was declared a disaster area. But what’s a little rain to a dedicated extern?

I woke up late that morning. The wind whistled along my balcony as I could hear the rain pound like buckets of water were being poured on the roof (which, in fairness, was a pretty accurate description, minus the buckets), steady enough to turn into a sort of a hissing sound. I didn’t bother hurrying, even though I was late, because I knew that I would have to wait until 8:30 anyway for someone to come pick me up. So I lounged around, watching a little television and making eggs before finally throwing on my tie and picking up the phone to call in for someone to pick me up.

“Sorry, Ryan (our office junior – he’s sort of like the gofer and the mascot all rolled into one) isn’t in yet – he is having a bit of a time getting from Elanora. Try again in about 20 minutes and he should be able to pick you up though.”

My shoulders dropped. I looked around the apartment, when a sudden surge of machismo came to me from . . . I’m still not sure. (Yeah, it came as a shock to me too; it must either be the water here or watching too much rugby league.) I thought to myself, “This is boring; I don’t want to wait. Morning TV sucks. I mean really . . . I’ve tracted in a whiteout blizzard before. I’ve gone out to feed cows when it was 40 below. I’ve been in typhoons, for goodness sake. What’s a little rain to stop me? I’LL JUST WALK TO WORK!!!

When I was an undergraduate, I was the designated driver at quite a few parties. After dealing with drunk people for a while, I started to learn drunk logic. I never thought I would succumb to it, especially as I was sober. I did manage to think enough to wear my raincoat (I remember it being a raincoat at one time, but I hadn’t waterproofed it lately) and my hoodie. That would be enough to fend off the rain, right? Right.

I trekked out into the storm and began to jog from eave to eave. My shoes filled up with water almost immediately. I quickly realized that even if I managed to keep my shirt dry, everything from the waist down would be sopping wet. Good thing I had a towel in my bag. After a while, I stopped bothering to try to avoid the rain. What few people there were out and about looked at me with a wonder of amazement and pity as I trudged along the path to work. I got to the building and stepped in the elevator. As it reached the fifth floor, I walked out, looking back to see a large puddle where I had stood.

I stopped in the bathroom to try and dry off. As I looked in the mirror, I was reminded of the times during the summer when I used to throw the neighbor’s cat into the irrigation canal. It would come out looking scraggly and miserable, and a wave of satisfaction would creep over me. Somewhere, a cat ghost was watching me, mewing something about karma.

The jacket and hoodie hadn’t helped at all. I was soaked clear through. I tried to wipe myself off with the towel, which was marginally drier than my clothes, but I realized too late that I had just bought it the day before yesterday and it hadn’t been laundered. Now my maroon shirt was covered in light blue lint, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

I walked in the back door of the office, threw the towel on my chair, shucked my shoes and socks, and turned on my computer, hoping no one would notice that I was there. It didn’t take long, though, and I was the featured attraction. Ryan came by and told me with a big smirk on his face that he had been by to pick me up, but I had gone already. After all the staff had popped by for the sideshow, the office manager told me that the partners weren’t going to be here and I should just go home. This time, I got Ryan to take me. An hour and a half after my adventure started, I sat at my house in the place where I had begun the morning, listening to the hiss of the rain falling. Maybe morning TV wasn’t so bad after all.

Hola...from the beautiful and exotic city of ...Provo?

2005-07-14T11:37:00.000-06:00

Hi everybody. I thought I'd finally post something. Aren't you all so glad :) Just an update on what's happening here. First...I am happy to report...that my sister has been blessed with lots of miracles and will be delivering her baby full term (after a scare at 22 weeks ...she started leaking amniotic fluid and was given only a 10% chance that the baby would survive) any day now...and i'll be an aunt again. Yeah!!!
As for myself. I have completely failed at the one and only summer goal I had (other than all that law related stuff :) ) which was to water ski as much as physically possible. Well, I 've only done it once...with the sister situation and other family conflicts...I just haven't been able to get to the lake. But I plan on remedying that in the next few weeks. :) ...all the law related stuff is going well. I'm still in Provo, although I go home to Ogden basically every weekend....My externship at Nebo school district has been great! and I've been working at night as a sports camp counselor....basically I get paid to have fun. Sounds great eh? ! So...that's about it from here. I hope all of you are enjoying your summers.

A boy named Sue...

2005-07-12T18:45:00.000-06:00

First off, let me apologize for not updating more regularly. I could generate some excuse, but I've just been lazy. I have resolved to do better, though, and so here's my pledge: I will not let 4 days go by without posting something. I have a backlog of stories to tell, so it shouldn't be a problem. Anyway, on to the post.

My e-mail address has been the subject of a little ribbing and kind-hearted mockery from a few individuals (you know who you are.) I thought I should tell the story to clarify any misunderstandings or confusion that might arise from my, well, unique handle.

My current e-mail address has a long and storied history. My e-mail address when I got back from my mission was natebear@hotmail. Before my mission, a friend had taken to calling me that, and it wasn't taken (as most other account names were) I used it. Since it was unique, I used it as a user name for a lot of other places on the internet as well.

I applied to BYU as a transfer student my sophomore year in college. I set up an account so I could apply via the internet, and as was my custom at the time, I used the username "natebear." I ultimately chose not to go there, and thought nothing more of it.

Fast forward two and a half years -- I was applying to law schools. I remembered the handy application procedure on the web and that I already had an account. I logged in, and it still worked. Again, I thought nothing more of it until I was given my e-mail address.

"natebear?" I wondered how that name could have possibly caught up with me. By this time I had abandoned the handle for almost a year, closing the hotmail account and switching to a more respectable (albeit not nearly as interesting) username. I remembered my route Y account and put two and two together. Later I tried to see if I could change it, as it would be awfully embarrassing getting e-mails from prospective employers at that address, but I was told that nothing short of being stalked would get them to change my e-mail address.

So there you have it. It may be dorky, but I prefer to think of it as charming in a quirky sort of way. Because I'm stuck with it, I figure I should make the best of it. That is, unless I get a cyberstalker. Then again, I may just like the attention and fail to report it. Any volunteers?

Hi from Budapest

2005-07-12T11:17:00.000-06:00

Scott and I are in Europe (I am taking some EU-US comparative law classes through William and Mary in Madrid) and we went to see Andrey (remember our Russian friend?) in Budapest. Andrey says hello to everyone. Beau, you will absolutely love Budapest when you come in the fall.

If you are interested, you can see some of our photos here.

Hope you are all doing well.

Robin

Our pals in London are OK

2005-07-07T09:34:00.000-06:00

It was good to hear from Yasser that all our JRCLS pals in England are ok and unscathed by the terrorist attack this morning in London. I know that many of you received an email from Yasser, but I thought that everyone would like to know.

Supreme Court Shakedown

2005-07-01T12:45:00.000-06:00

Okay Folks, it is going to be an interesting summer for the Supreme Court. Who is it going to be? Who will W. push for and who will the Democrats vote on. I want to hear everybody's take on things. I think that Fee is voting for McConnell. Brady, are you for Kozinski???? Let hear it!!!!

U of U Law Students Bleed Green

2005-06-24T08:56:00.000-06:00

I just wanted to give everyone some more reasons to be happy to be at BYU. I have been working with a U of U extern here at the U.S. District Court in Salt Lake and spoke with him about the U's extern program. The way it works is really strange. Basically, they have a matched program, only they don't get to choose the specific place they want to work. They also don't do self-initiated externships. The worst part is that they pay FULL TUITION for their summer extern credits (not to mention that they are paying a great deal more tuition more anyway; last year's tuition was $10,203 while BYU Law was at $7160). My associate said his 3-credit externship would cost around $2,000 in tuition. OUCH!!!

Round Table on Registration -- 9:00 on the 15th

2005-06-17T23:40:00.000-06:00

We interrupt this blog for an important question: What classes are you going to take?

This seems like a fairly involved decision to make, but because we are such capable people, apparently we don't need advisors, etc. to help us with the decision. I thought we could make this into a forum of sorts so that we could help each other out. Please comment and share your wisdom by telling the group what classes you are planning on taking and why. Include any advice that you have had passed along to you from those who have gone before, or even just rumors about what classes we should take or avoid. Everyone who has been waiting for the perfect time to post, this is it!

This post will be at the top of the screen until registration day.

Helpful links:

fall schedule

fall finals schedule

winter schedule

winter finals schedule

course descriptions

courses unlikely to be offered in 2006-07

Letter on how to choose your courses

foreign language courses

Pick the Mormon

2005-06-15T23:04:00.000-06:00

This would be the favorite game of Dave, Brady and I during jury selection at the DA’s office. Dave is a fellow Mormon intern whose passionate conservative views, including castration for criminals, only fuels the fire Brady has for intense but meaningless debate. Very entertaining. And despite what he says about “other guys” with gold chains running down the street with tennis rackets, well, let’s just say Brady’s picked up some bad habits and I’ve had to drag him out of the marriage license line on a few occasions. They were just gold diggers Brady, gold diggers.

Las Vegas may be dry, desolate, and devoid of morals but it’s where I was born and raised and it’s made me who I am today. Because of my first internship (car accident cases), I’m a much more cautious driver. Wearing a helmet and knee pads in the car may not be very comfortable, but I’ve seen cases where a simple “bump” can cause plaintiffs to see a physical therapists for years and endure millions of dollars of damages. who’da thought?
Working in the criminal dep’t hasn’t helped my state much either. Every attorney shoudl carry a concealed weapon. I did spray Brady with mace on a few occasions, but he shouldn’t walk so quietly even if it’s just to borrow a pencil. Today was a pretty entertaining day. Jury selection was finally complete in the late afternoon, and as the jurors returned from their break a deadbeat guy hanging around the courthouse (returning for a hearing on drug charges) yelled to the passing jury, “jury duty……….GUILTY!” Well, he got arrested, each juror was interrogated with what he/she had “heard,” a mistrial was requested, and the chaos began to build. The trial had to go on. I grabbed the outspoken druggie and Brady’s gold chain and ran with the man to the marriage license area. Like many other couples, four hours in a line can tell you a lot about a person and it just wasn’t right. Hope everyone is doing well! Only 2 months until our first 1L reunion! yes.

Carolyn's New Cage

2005-06-15T14:25:00.000-06:00

Week: 2, Externship: 2. I arrived in D.C. on a Friday night red-eye, barely escaping the L.A. corporate litigation externship with my life. I've been exiled to work at the Criminal Appellate Division at the Department of Justice, and will hopefully recover some semblance of my sanity in the next few weeks. Emphasis on the *hopefully.*

The security at the DOJ resembles that of Alcatraz or Auschwitz, with security guards outnumbering attorneys two-to-one. They teach you to lock down your computer when you go to the bathroom, to keep your lips sealed regarding confidential information, and--most importantly--to never, ever, leave your office without your department badge and I.D. An offense of that nature may result in a strip-search. When arriving at the DOJ in the morning, one is required to pass through a series of guards posted at the entrance. They screen your ID to make sure that you're really you, instead of being a fake you, which would apparently be bad. Next, you have to speak with some really, really rude guards who demand your name, department, supervisor, phone number, office, birth date, favorite Saturday morning cartoon, etc., etc. If you get any one of these questions wrong, you are immediately liquefied. Finally, you're shuttled into this little glass capsule, which closes around you much like a space module while playing really silly Germanic music. I try my hardest not to snort with laughter when herded into this machine. To this point, I've been unsuccessful. Once stripped of all dignity and pride you once had in working for the DOJ, they release you into the building halls, where guards scowl at you from every corner, making you feel generally unwelcome. These guards are absolutely menacing, and record the number of times you leave to get a drink or go to the restroom. Miff.
A very funny first day of work experience and then I’m done. D.C. friends who have heard this tragic tale, please tune out now.
I was headed home on the metro after my first day, reading very important *classified* documents (really more like semi-unpublished public records), when a man sitting next to me leaned over my shoulder.
"Whatcha reading?" he asked.
"Oh, great," I thought. "It’s one of those metro stalkers. Nothing is more aggravating than a metro stalker." I blew him off, mumbling something about a court case.
"Hmmmm... sounds interesting," he said. "Can I take a look?"
"Er, I think it’s classified," I said. "Important DOJ stuff, you know."
"You work there?" he said.
"Mm hmm," I mumbled, trying to blow him off.
The man continued speaking for the next few minutes, while I ignored him almost entirely.
"Um, I need to get off now," I said at the next stop.
"Oh, of course," he said. "Here. Let me give you my card if you ever have any questions."
"Uhhhh, yeah. Sure," I said.
He handed me his card and I stepped onto the platform. As the metro was pulling away, I looked down.

Paul Hahn
Assistant U.S. Attorney
Department of Justice

Griffith Confirmed

2005-06-14T12:56:00.000-06:00

I dont know if you all heard or saw that, but it might just have an impact on whether or not he teaches "separation of powers" in the fall.

Corporate Wonderland

2005-06-12T11:20:00.000-06:00

Ok friends, I have now made the transition into corporate wonderland and I am really enjoying it. It is quite a bit different than what I have been used to, and maybe that is part of the appeal.

I am back in Boise and am working for a worldwide giant (I know, it sounds weird that they are based in Boise) but they have a huge hand in the defense and infrastructure realm of government and private contracting. The other day I sat in on a conference call with all the attorneys working for the company throughout the world and the international flavor was unbelievable. It was so delicious!! I would do it, I would!!! (and wash it down with a nice, cool.....)

It is great to be home and to see my family and I have already been given a ton of work to do. The other day I went golfing with some other attorneys I work with and it was a blast. It was a 4 man scramble so it took the pressure off me. Brady, I need more tips on hitting the ball straight; I am sure you can imagine I have the distance, but the direction is a little more important at this point.

Yesterday we painted the house of an old couple in my ward and I cannot tell you how good it felt to do something for someone else for the first time in like a year. I just didnt make the time during the school year, but I need to make sure to do that in the future or I feel that I will go crazy.

I Plan on doing some wakeboarding ( a job in itself) and if anyone is wondering, I will be buying a wakeboarding helmet this summer. Too many close calls last year, and I would like to enjoy both of my eardrums for the rest of my life. I think it might be important. On a side note, I had a guy in my home ward try to drop the blatant hint I should date his daughter, after I had said about three words to him. He really minced words. Oh friends, the beauty of going back to your home ward and having the chance to be badgered into submission and ridiculed for your single status. I know I am really feeling my age!! And I am sure you all are real concerned about me as well. I mean I am 26 years old...everyone is thinking what is wrong with that guy!!!! (hahahahahaha) Personally, I know that I have my quirks. Just a word to the single law student returning home for the summer, be ready for the barrage of comments. They are to come as surely as anxiety in December!!! Later pals, and talk to you soon. Let my words resonate through the electrical impulses on pc screens everywhere.

This is Carrie, not Carolyn...or is it???

2005-06-10T12:34:00.000-06:00

This is Carrie, not Carolyn (or so you think. This could be the greatest cover-up since Milli Vanilli).

I have attempted – and failed – to post on the blogger, so now I am making purposeful availment of the fact my current roommate, Carolyn Deverich, knows how to use this magnificent tool of communication. (Carolyn is taking over my spot in the townhouse owned by a former BYU law grad that we’re living in, but we’ve overlapped for a week and it’s been way too fun – much too much estrogen for some of you.)

I wanted to blog a bit before I leave the wonderful world of Washington, D.C., where I have not only discovered fake designer purses (I know, you’re thinking my interest may be limited to local merchandise), but also the best chocolate chip cookie I have ever tasted (a Guinness-worthy achievement), more art museums than I can fit in (but as the Governator would say, I’ll be back), and my sense of tranquility (which wasn’t all that great to begin with but was nearly destroyed by a year of baitfish, judges who answer only to themselves and God, Pennoyer v. Neff, and airspace property rights). Parentheticals and run-on sentences were something I already new about.

I have been working for a small think tank in the D.C. area which focuses on property rights and free markets (i.e. right-leaning) and have been able to attend off-the-record political meetings, a political dinner themed for some reason around Mardi Gras where I saw hundreds of uptight professionals get progressively drunk, Congressional hearings, meetings in the Senate and House offices, see where the Supreme Court first met, and in general enjoy the political scene of Washington (to an extent). It has been fun to see non-traditional legal careers all around me, though I am a bit bored when I’m at work (there’s not a ton for me to do) and I’m looking forward to actually doing legal research and getting to court when I go home to Colorado Springs next week and work for a lawyer I know. I definitely would love a job in D.C. eventually – there are so many charming places in the area and plenty of green space.

The highlight of my externship, however, might be the “company car” I drive, which some of the first-years have had the fun of experiencing (the car, in combination with my nervousness in driving around, provides many opportunities to hear me scream in frustration and, in extreme cases, curse). My uninsured sweetheart of vehicle stopped at 175,000 miles probably sometime ago, and while I sit in stop-and-go-traffic on my way to work, my left calf screaming in pain at having had the clutch in for the last forty-five minutes, hoping that the Rpms don’t drift all the way to “0” as they constantly threaten to and that I can get into first gear when traffic starts up again, I am almost ready to weep at the thought of my 95 Mazda Protégé waiting in Colorado – who needs a BMW? In all honesty having had the car has made the experience much more fun – and it makes me work harder to preserve that tranquility.

I love reading the blog and hope you are all doing spectacularly well.

-Carrie

Red Centre

2005-06-06T02:27:00.000-06:00

Warning: The following post may not be suitable for those with short attention spans, the lactose intorlerant, or anyone who is offended by androgyny, eating marsupials, yellow water bottles, or didgeridoos. Proceed at your own risk.
Uluru

Peering through the glass of the airplane window, I can see what looks like fields, dusty and red, each square outlined by the blue haze of eucalyptus trees. I can’t imagine anything growing on it. The gum trees give way to brush. A billabong lies on the flat plain, a muddy grey color against the rusty earth. We continue our journey until the plain turns to desert. Orange sand dunes stack up one after another like waves surging toward shore. The desert turns from red to yellow and back to red out my window, the landscape featureless all the way except for a light dusting of spinifex and an occasional bone-dry wash. Finally, the plane begins to descend, and I see it: A hunk of sandstone jutting out of the flat, barren ground. Further off, the tumbled stones that make up Kata Tjuta sit, wearing a slight blue tinge from the winter shadows. The plane lurched forward as it approached the runway. I had arrived at Uluru.

I remember first seeing Uluru in a picture when I was about seven years old – a massive orange monolith that sat alone on the flat ground, surrounded by nothingness. I looked for anything like it at home, without success. There was plenty of red rock, but nothing that could compare to the big stone in the picture. As I read more about it, my curiosity increased. The stories I read ranged from mundane geologic and cultural histories to downright bizarre new-age tales of flying saucers and healing crystals. I guess that the attraction to the kooks made sense. I mean, there’s something mysterious about a monolith, something that is out of place. A rock has no neighbors and has no business sitting where it’s sitting. The first explanation is that it was put there by someone or something – kind of like 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Anyway, I figured while I’m here in Australia, I’d sate my curiosity and go see Uluru. I was told by the folks at work how far it was, but what’s half a continent when you’ve come this far already? So, I bought tickets and took a journey into the outback.

We deplaned and walked onto the tarmac, following a path into the small airport. There were more trees than I would have guessed. Desert oak dotted the landscape; its needle-shaped leaves only showing a hint of green mist around an otherwise barren trunk. From the airport I was whisked quickly to the hostel. I cleaned myself up from the 4-hour flight and prepared to go on the afternoon tour to Kata Tjuta.

I walked to the reception desk to give my ticket to the tour guide. I was a bit taken aback because the tour guide was the most androgynous being I had ever encountered. Tour guide was about 5-foot-five, had shortish hair that was spiked on the back and sides as well as the top, had a blousy khaki shirt that would camouflage breasts, and a voice that was perfectly in between the range of a woman and a man, but close to the tone of an “aggressive” woman. In other words, stick tour guide in a Subaru Outback and you’d have a stereotypical lesbian. This was my best guess until I got closer and saw sparse hairs that stood out on tour guide’s face. Still, that wasn’t conclusive, but tour guide didn’t seem to have hips or breasts, so I decided that tour guide was not a woman, just a very unlucky man. “G’day folks, my name’s Chris.” It was all I could do to keep from busting up; Chris could hardly have a name that would suit him better.

The tour went out to Kata Tjuta, a cluster of reddish stone domes about 25 miles away from Uluru. It looked smooth from a distance, but the formation is made out of river stones cemented together into conglomerate, and was really quite bumpy. This made walking the trail difficult. Compounding that difficulty were the swarms of small black flies that mauled us. These flies were much more determined than American flies. If one decided it wanted to live in your left nostril, there was nothing you could do to dissuade it. It was finally me who gave. I relented, like most of the hikers, to having flies on my clothes, so long as they decided not to move to my face. This compromise required constant enforcement on my part. So, I hiked along the trail with one hand waving about my face and the other one at the ready to balance myself in case I stumbled against a protruding stone in the path. Not the height of grace and sophistication, but the hike into Kata Tjuta was worth it.
Kata Tjuta just before sundown

Upon coming back to the tour bus, we traveled to a place where we could view Kata Tjuta in the light of the sunset. I wasn’t sure what the big deal was, especially since the horizon was cloudy. I kind of suspected that it was an excuse to drink, as tour guide Chris was mixing mimosas on a picnic table. Then sunset came. The rocks of Kata Tjuta began to glow yellow, slightly t first, then with more and more intensity as the angle of the sun aligned with the domes. As the sun continued to set, the bright Yellow became orange, and then a deep red before finally settling into a purple for twilight. Wow.
During Sundown

We returned back to the hostel, where I changed clothes and started off to find dinner. The lodge had a do-it-yourself barbecue and salad buffet where you bought your meat and cooked it yourself (hence the name). Walking up to the counter, I noticed amongst the chicken breasts and T-bone steaks they had something called the “Outback Special.” The outback special constisted of a skewer of kangaroo meat, a skewer of crocodile meat, an emu sausage, and two beef sausages (hot dogs). I hesitated at first, but then I thought of the unique opportunity that this was and that all of you would never forgive me if I didn’t. So, I threw caution to the wind and ordered some genuine bush tucker.

The verdict? Crocodile is chewy and kind of fatty – a cross between calamari and pork rind (not the deep fried kind). It didn’t really taste like chicken; in fact, it didn’t taste much like anything. The emu sausage was at a disadvantage in the first place by being a sausage. I didn’t really enjoy it, although there was nothing particularly wrong with the taste. I guess I’m not a big sausage fan. The star of the meal was the kangaroo. It was red meat, much like beef in both flavor and texture. It was surprisingly tender and not the least bit gamey, not at all what I was expecting. I think I could actually eat it again.

While I was eating, there was a man on stage singing and playing guitar. This guy wasn’t half bad; he was performing “Hallelujah” (if you don’t know this song, find it. It’s amazing). I was kind of getting into it. And then, the interlude . . . happened. A low, thrumming sound emanated from the stage. I felt the seat beneath me start to vibrate slightly. The guy was playing the didgeridoo! I was just kind of stunned, listening to him as he proceeded to lay the didgeridoo in the middle of “I’ll Be Watching You” by the Police and “The Scientist” by Coldplay. Now don’t get me wrong, I like my didgeridoo as much, if not more, than the next guy. And it wasn’t like this guy wasn’t talented; he sang and played the guitar quite well, and you have to be impressed when somebody can strum a guitar and make kookaburra noises out of a 10-foot wooden pipe at the same time. It’s just . . . well, there are certain songs where a didgeridoo doesn’t seem to add to the effect. You know what I mean. Maybe I’m just being a musical snob. At any rate, when he started in on Maroon 5, I had decided I’d had enough and beat a retreat to my room.
Uluru at sunrise

I woke up the next morning at 5:30 to the sound of my Japanese roomate’s alarm clock playing some sort of cute music. Typical. I had talked to him the night before, a nice enough kid, but he wasn’t really pleased that I knew Japanese and would only speak to me in English. Anyway, I got up and checked out of the hostel, and by 6:30, I was on a bus to Uluru. Luckily, our guide this morning did not sound like the result of the Crocodile hunter inhaling copious amounts of helium. It was a bit easier on the ears, especially that early in the morning. We got to the rock in the low light of dawn and waited in the chilly desert air for the sun to rise. The clouds that hung in the eastern sky started to shine, and slowly the light began to sweep westward, striking one cloud and then another until the top of the rock began to glow red. Uluru changed from maroon to orange to yellow as the sun made its way up the horizon. Looking back, it was just what I’d seen last night in reverse, but it was just as exciting, as fresh, as the time before. It was just as beautiful, but unique.
the back side of Uluru

I’d always seen Uluru from a distance in photos – a monolith rising from the desert floor. It’s hard to understand from those photos just how big the rock is. The walk around the base is a six-mile hike that exposes the detail hidden in the wide-angle picture. Along the base, we encountered several spots marked as sacred sites where photography was prohibited. I was a bit put out at firs, but our guide told us a bit more about these sites and what they mean to the Anangu people. I felt annoyance being replaced by respect. This was more than a geological wonder, it was – a temple. The Anangu have myths that correspond to the natural features of the rock. There’s a story for every crack, cave, and indentation. These myths form the basis of Anangu history, ethics, and everyday knowledge. As I absorbed these stories, I thought about my own experiences with stories like these, and the place I saw them represented. With this perspective, the rock took on meaning beyond its beauty. I understood why they didn’t want people climbing the rock, why they didn’t want their sacred sites photographed. “What is important,” writes one Anangu, “is to listen.” I closed my eyes and tried to hear.
Petroglyphs

Too quickly, it all came to an end. After some minor dramas (I left my water bottle in the bus and had to track it down), I was back in the air, watching the desert go from red to yellow and back to red, trading brush and spinifex for eucalypts and washes for billabongs. Back at home, my white gym shoes (the only shoes I had to hike in) have a rusty stain from the red dust that will likely never come off. There’s gotta be a metaphor in that someplace . . . .
More Uluru

Drinkin' Dew, Chewin' Juicy Fruit

2005-06-05T22:08:00.000-06:00

Yo-- Rando Commando here checking in from Auckland, New Zealand. So I decided to forego an exciting 6th consecutive week in an office and see what this island has to offer.

I kicked off wednesday with some blackwater rafting, which is rafting on a river in an underground cave on an innertube with a wetsuit and a speulunking helmet. There were glow worms aplenty lighting up the cave ceiling like the milky way on a clear summer night at Squaw Peak-- right Brady- eh?EH?!! just kidding. THursday I traveled to Rotorua and chilled out hard. Friday I rode the gondola up the mountain and rode the luge-- it's like a gravity-powered go-kart you can drive down an assortment of tracks to match every skill level. It was saweeet. After that I did the zorb, which is where they strap you into a giant hamster ball and roll you down a hill. AWESOME!! Saturday I took a bus down to Taupo and, following Elanor Roosevelt's sage advice to "do that which you think you cannot," Jumped into a canyon with a bungy cord the only thing between me and the Veil. It was SII-ICK. After that I chilled out in the park with a donut in my right hand, a jug of New Zealand's finest chocolate milk in the other, and the immortal Mitch Hedberg in my headphones. That night I went out to the local pub to catch the rugby game-- the British & Irish Lions is touring NZ right now and the whole country is in a bloody frenzy. Sunday I bused up to Auckland and kicked it, and right now, monday, I'm still kicking it. I went up into the skytower- which is the tallest building in the Southern hemisphere, incidentally. Oh- I got the white stripes' new one, too "Get Behind Me, Satan". It won't be out in the states for another couple days. I really am the luckiest boy in Utah. <---(pinocchio voice). Love you all long time, and I will catch you later.

I've Found Someone Special

2005-06-03T22:39:00.000-06:00

Guess what everyone, I've found someone very special. Working around the "criminal element" has helped me to find him. His name is Jesus.

Pronounced Heisuess (Jesus with a spanish accent). Apparently, everyone finds him in prison, right before they get sentenced. Also, word has it that this elusive figure works in the kitchen. They all tell the judges that they have found this benevolent person, and that they are changed men. While a bit sacreligious, it is something that is quite common in the criminal justice system. The funny thing is that you can see right through it most of the time, but every once in a while the claim feels sincere, and when it does, it changes what happens to the defendant. Sincerety or lip service. Just something to think about.
I played golf with the Head Honcho of our office. He started to tease me at one point about something, trying to throw me off, so I used my golfing Jedi mind tricks, and right before he swung I said "Hey Lalli (that's his last name) do you breath in or out when you swing? He just smiled, swung, and totally duffed the ball. It was a big moment, and in a wierd way, I was able to suck up--Brady style.
I hope that you are all having a wonderful summer, and I am sure that many of you are finding that we really do have an AMAZING group of people in our class. Not only capable and smart, but good. I am in awe of the each of you and the amazing future that each of you will have. Just as a side note, I hope we all keep the perspective that the most amazing things that we will do in life will probably have nothing to do with our legal careers, but will certainly be a byproduct of the torment that has been refining each of us. You are the best, and I miss seeing you all everyday.

Joe, say it ain't so!!!!

2005-06-03T14:56:00.000-06:00

Well my friends, they say that all good things must come to an end. My time here in Chicago has been great, we've told some jokes, had a few laughs, and CUBS WIN, CUBS WIN!!!

Being in the land of Harry Caray has been grand. I have been to 4 Cubs games, 1 WhiteSox game and been able to live with some close cousins for the last five weeks. I now get to go home and will be able to stand up straight when I shower. I have only been approached by a con artist once, and after completely frustrating him and shooting holes in his story he gave up....But not before getting mad at me for trying to help. The weather has been great and to put it simply I love this town. You should all visit sometime. During my time here I got to see Pinback play in a the Metro (a cool little venue that always has great shows..they had Coldplay in town the week before if you like them), went to DC for a weekend, and saw just about every square inch of Chicago pavement by foot before it was all over. I went on a hunt by myself for the Cabrini Green Housing Projects and was a little out of place (they are notriously the worst housing projects/social experiment in US history). If any of you want to know a little more about that little adventure just ask me later. Oh yeah, and I worked. The people I worked with were wonderful and I am going to apply again to come out here next summer. I won't bore you with the details of my job, but this is a great legal market to work in. Well now it is off to Phoenix for the weekend to see some family and play a little golf, and then I will be back in Boise to start my job with General Counsel of Washington Group International. It will be great to have two completely different legal experiences in my first summer. You know, you have to try and figure things out while you have the chance. Hope that everyone is doing well and it is time for me to bid the Windy City a fond farewell. Adios Amigos!!!!

What working hard on your externship looks like

2005-06-02T20:54:00.000-06:00

I couldn't insert photos, so you'll have to click here if you want to find out what some interns here are doing to get ahead in the legal world:

http://lane.molen.net/DC1.JPG

I loathe the Externship Log Packet

2005-06-02T20:09:00.000-06:00

Since my post is boring, I had to liven up the subject line a bit - but don't think for a minute that it doesn't accurately portray my feelings. I think you all can relate.

Random Thoughts:
Okay so I am finishing up here in DC -- just another week to go. Congress has been in recess this week which is nice since it means I get to wear jeans to work. Gotta love that. Working in a congressional office has been a truly enlightening experience. As many of you know it's a very unique atmosphere on "the Hill." I love being at the Capitol, which will serve me well when Senator Seil lets me work for him here.

Being on the Hill makes you a little more cynical about things, but surprisingly, a little less cynical of others. It's hard to explain, but if you ask me sometime I will try to let you know. Maybe Stacey can shed some similar sorts of insights.

Most of what I've been working on hasn't fallen under the "traditional legal work" category, but it has been fascinating to watch the process of seeing the law actually being made (albeit VERY slowly). I found it funny that one of the main projects that I've worked on and written a memo for is on the Commerce Clause. The good news on that is that I had Wilkins who spent 4 months on the CC. The bad news is that I didn't exactly, uh, have that material mastered....

Last week I took a day trip with friends to see "Spamalot" on Broadway. If any of you are Monty Python fans, I highly recommend it. But don't take my word on it. John Lahr of the New Yorker called it "an exhilirating no-holds-barred smash hit!" Joel Siegel says, "I loved every minute!"

12 Things I've Learned

2005-06-02T03:32:00.000-06:00

I can't sleep (combination of excessive amounts of Dr. Pepper & lack of spouse) so I thought I'd share some interesting & not so interesting things I've learned so far this summer:

When you have a client that wants to enter into a contract with a Native American tribe make sure you include a clear WAIVER OF SOVEREIGN IMMUNITY in the contract and identify what assets can be used to satisfy a judgment in the event of a dispute (you can’t attach a lien to tribal lands). Otherwise the tribe can decide to pay $50,000 less than the agreed price & your client may be SOL . . .
Brady hates minivans & is very skilled at driving in stop & go traffic on the freeway without using his feet. Plus, his new porn star/child molester glasses are tight.
Some courts have considered entire buildings to be removable trade fixtures.
You can marry your first cousin in Utah (if you are over 65 years old or if you are over 55 & can prove sterility)
Sometimes when bums ask you for money for food—they really are hungry & will be just as happy with a partially eaten pizza.
China is not a signatory to the Hague Convention (governing Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction), SO judges are less likely to let a mom take her son there for the summer, even if it is during her visitation time & it is her mother’s 70th birthday . . . especially if the mom’s business was recently raided & shut down by the police for giving a little extra to the customers at the end of the massage.
If the managing partner asks you to write a printing equipment lease agreement that includes UCC protections, you don’t remember anything like that from contracts & no one else at the firm has ever written one (or at least you can’t find one on the server) . . . go to this website: http://onecle.com & you will find many examples of how other people (who probably knew what they were doing) wrote that type of agreement. The site also works for restricted stock agreements & other types of leases.
In Nevada, you can’t claim damages of $100,000 or $1 million . . . you have to say, “Plaintiff seeks damages in excess of $10,000.”
People who sell the rights to broadcast pay-per-view fights to the cable & dish companies make just as much money off of suing bars for showing the fights illegally as they do selling the rights to the cable & dish companies.
Some people sign loan documents that include outrageously high pre-payment penalties.
Also, if you are in foreclosure or the lender has accelerated your debt, you probably won’t have to pay the pre-payment penalty (unless you didn’t pay on purpose just to avoid the penalty)
Some lawyers make terrible arguments in court. For example: Since a violation of the code of ethics does not give rise to a cause of action, your client does not have a cause of action if the harm was caused by a tort that was also a violation of the code of ethics. What’s worse is that sometimes judges grant a motion to dismiss based on that very argument. The difficult part is writing the motion to reconsider in a way that points out the logic error without including “duh” or “are you kidding me?”
Be careful when you ask your stipper girlfriend to quit her job & move in with you so you can pretend you're married to trick your business partners into thinking that you aren't an unstable bi-sexual drug addict . . because even though Nevada doesn't have common law marriage, a judge may give your ex-stripper, ex-girlfriend half of everything you acquired during your cohabitation.

Registration Coming Soon. Grades . . . HERE!

2005-06-01T18:51:00.000-06:00

Just check Route Y. It has grades, but not rank.

Blogger Profile Contest

2005-06-01T17:18:00.000-06:00

This post will be at the top of the screen for a while -- look below for updated posts

Blogger has a fun feature that allows a blogger to share information about him or herself. Rather than just letting someone fill in this space themselves, we are holding a contest to see who can write the best profiles for each blogger.

To enter, all you have to do is to write a profile for one of our esteemed members (in 1200 characters or less) and post it as a comment to this site. The best (funniest) will be voted on by the members and the winners will receive a prize (I'll bring you home a baby 'roo or something from Australia) and the satisfaction of poking fun of one of their friends in perpetuity (or as long as the lifespan of this blog). For now, the contest will run until June 1st, but that date may be extended if we are short on entries. So, get your ideas together and invite your friends to work on it as well. Happy writing!

PS. If anyone wants to be added as a member of this blog, we still have lots of room. E-mail me at ngw_03 at hotmail dot com and we will set you up.

Grades & Registration Coming Soon

2005-06-01T16:24:00.000-06:00

I have anxiously been awaiting registration (ever since my externship taught me how much I still need to know to be a real lawyer), so I called Nancy H. today. She said that grades will be out this Friday (I haven't been anxiously awaiting those. . .) and that we should be able to register on June 15 at 9 am MST if all goes well. So, if anyone else has been checking AIM everyday, you can stop & just wait for Nancy's email explaining what classes they will be offering & when we can jump online to register.

I have a few more days left at my externship here in Vegas. So far I've learned a lot & haven't felt a ton of pressure, since I'm at what many people call a "life-style" firm. That is code for "9am-5pm with a paid lunch hour" (that is, if you get paid). The highlight so far was when the air conditioner broke in the office. Luckily it was only 106 degrees outside . That's probably not true, I think the highlight has been the 10-12 hours of driving every weekend to see my family who I left in Utah. I'd better get started on my next research project. . .

All you need is to look like you know where you're going...

2005-05-31T16:28:00.000-06:00

Life has gotten much better the past few weeks. Aside from the two days of the blistering 95 degree weather (I'm a wimp), it has been cool, beautiful and fabulous. I am getting to be a pro at mass transit, and the only falling down is done by others and not me (so long as it doesn't involve others falling ON me, I am fine, and I try not to laugh... too much). I've made friends with the attorneys, and even though they think I am strange for being a voluntary teetotaler, I seem to "fit." Even though I was originally told to not expect assignments from anyone other than my supervisor, since the attorneys don't like to invest in someone who will only be here for five weeks, somebody apparently decided I'm not as dumb as I look (or sound) and am capable of performing easy assignments. (I must note that an easy assignment to them equals about two days of work for me- coincidence? I think not. Maybe I am as dumb as I look!)

Life was going well. And then...

I'm sure we all remember the pain that was involved in meticulously drafting our brief last semester (Okay, so maybe it wasn't so meticulous). Well, I have that pain once again. Except, instead of numerous class periods to discuss the issues and two months to draft the dang thing, I have one week. Originally I had two weeks, but I didn't have a lot of time to work on it last week as I was dealing with several "easy" assignments. Plus, I procrastinate.

Last Friday my supervisor informed me that he is not a procrastinator. He followed this remark with asking how if I had started any substantive writing on the brief yet. Now, I believe in being honest- usually. But had I told him the exact truth, I think he would have had a heart attack, and I would have felt responsible for the rest of my life. Plus, my chances of getting a job later on with this firm would likely be slim to none- just a hunch. So, I assured him that I had started writing, while telling myself that it's not lying to say you already did something that you're planning on doing soon. Right. I was going to work on it this weekend. Right. I thought about working on it Saturday when I went spent all day with a friend. I thought about working on it Monday when I drove to the coast. I thought about working on it Monday night when I got back from the coast. I thought about working on it today when I went for a walk by the river at lunch. And I'm thinking about working on it right now as I'm writing this post. Uh huh. I happen to work better under pressure- intense pressure- and I might as well leave my supervisor in the dark about that side of my personality. No reason to stress two people out!

I feel better confessing. And I'm sure I'll work on the brief sometime this week. I won't let the Rose Festival distract me. I won't cry myself to sleep if grades come out this weekend. I won't drive myself crazy if grades DON'T come out this weekend. And I certainly won't procrastinate ever again. Say it with me people- Right.

A Farewell to My Firm

2005-05-31T15:37:00.000-06:00

Today is my last day. I don't have the exotic experiences of some, and most of the hilarity of my experience was shortly swallowed up by the always pending workload sitting on my desk. BUT, I have weathered the experience and am coming out of it alive, if not entirely mentally intact. I have to say that plowing headlong through the last year of school and going straight into this externship has left me feeling stripped of all confidence and dignity, and perhaps thats the reason I feel proud of just having walked every blasted step it took me to get through it all.

I have this underlying fear that I'm going to return to school and everyone else is going to have learned all these great things that I just didn't get a chance to learn. I didn't get taken to court, or get to see a trial, or go to a deposition or get any of that kind of experience. My firm treated me like an associate, and I was chained to my desk for five straight weeks doing research. I hated it at first, and its not that I love it now, but I love that I can look back and see that I did it. I think back to my days when I used to be smart and capable when I wouldn't have been satisfied with anything less than striding in here and winning everyone's good opinion with my work ethic and ability. But since law school ground me into little pieces made mostly of negligible competance, I feel proud to be walking out of here having survived. I'm also finding that on leaving I will miss working with the attorneys I've come to associate with, and am even experiencing inklings of having recovered from the brutality of the first year of law school and having a desire get better at this so I can be a good lawyer.

My firm is pretty cool, and everyone here is pretty active and into recreation. I didn't realize the extent of the addiction until one day one of the partners went in his office dressed in professional attire, and came out of it dressed in biker shorts wheeling his mountain bike down the firm's stairwell. Right. That's how you want to run into your client. But when you're as good as these guys are at doing what you do, I guess you can wear whatever you want.

The first assignment I got a couple hours after I got here on my first day was from one of the partners who has climbed Mount Everest. I should have known there would be no pleasing him. He walked in my office without so much as a hello, set a typewritten page on my desk and said, "I need you to do this for me. Its pretty self-explanatory." Then he walked out. There went asking a lot of questions and clarifying your assignment and all the other yada yada we were told to do at school. The assignment WAS self-explanatory after the 80th time I read through it having looked up almost every word on the page. Then I spent the next couple of days working my butt off, researching an issue I barely understood in an area of law I'd never been exposed to, and even took work home with me to do at night since I couldn't get it done before the deadline otherwise. When I submitted it, he flipped through my baby that I'd put heart and soul into, then he circled something on one of the pages, handed it back to me and said, "This is not good. This has to be good enough to be filed." Then he went back to work. So I did it again. I had to practically tie myself to my chair in order to restrain myself from running screaming out of here, but I did it again. I only just found out that he thought my work was very good, five weeks after the fact. Delayed gratification is certainly the name of the game in the practice of law.

I went camping and hiking in southern Utah this last weekend, and for the first time in a while was able to enjoy myself without the nagging of something unfinished waiting at home. As I climbed onto high places and felt the wind pull at me I realized how much I love life and how much better I am for having done something that was hard for me. School was never hard for me before, but law school and work experience so far have been, and I did it. And all the things I love in life seem a bit sweeter for having done so.

I never would have expected to leave here feeling as good as I do about the experience after my intimidating beginning, but I'm coming out of it with a sense of accomplishment. Some attorneys took me out for a farewell lunch today, and talked about how they pride themselves on treating their clerks like associates so they have real experience. I guess I took that to heart a little and feel like maybe my deficiency in some experiences is compensated for by that.

So I guess upon exiting this experience I would say: I hope to avoid all things law until August.

This is Katrina, signing off.

Some Photos

2005-05-31T05:47:00.000-06:00

I took my camera with me this weekend. I will just let the pictures speak for themselves.

That's a natural bridge in front of a waterfall

A strangler fig in the Australian Rainforest

A shot of the waterfall from inside the cave under Natural Bridge

Soul -- It will be the tallest building in the Southern Hemisphere when it is finished

A picture of the skyline from my office -- all the skyscrapers are actually residential holiday apartments

New Feature!

2005-05-27T16:33:00.000-06:00

Yes, friends, after the latest technological marvel, you all asked: can he top it? Why yes, yes I can. Now, on the right side of the screen, be amazed by a list of the last five comments that people have made on the site. No more searching each post, you can know now! Your applause is not necessary.

My Life Is Not As Entertaining As Carolyn's...

2005-05-27T12:23:00.000-06:00

which is why I'm so disappointed to post after her...sigh...oh well, here goes anyway...

-The other night while coming home from work I discovered that the stairs to the parking garage were flooded from the mass amounts of rain that day. So, in an effort to not soil my work shoes and clothes, I did what I thought was the smart thing and decided to take the elevator. I got into the elevator and stood opposite of the man that was already in there (why is this the socially acceptable thing to do?!?! If it wasn't, I would be a lot happier today...just let me tell ya!) As I did this I heard him say something to the effect of "Watch out there's *^&$%&*mumble*&&^mumble...ov..er..th..er.e." Looking down, I then realized that what I thought were puddles of rainwater were in fact HUGE PUDDLES OF URINE! I was too shocked and appalled to even think of a four letter word to describe the situation. After I got out of the elevator, I ran to the nearest inch deep rainwater puddle and submerged my shoes in an effort to save them. When I got home, I tried to convey to Nunley the trauma I (and my shoes) had undergone. He was like "Yeah, homeless people pee in the elevators" and then went back to watching TV.

-In others news, for those of you who think "Wow, Stacey's butt sure is firm and toned" when we go back to school in the fall should know that I owe it all the escalator at the Wheaton Metro stop. It is, in fact, the longest escalator in the Western Hemisphere, which makes it the second longest escalator in the world (Go ahead google it! I dare you!). I'll try to post a picture of it later, but for now you can go here or imagine escalator stairs that ascend into dark nothingness...a dark nothingness I have to climb through everyday. My goal is to walk up it without stopping everyday (I tried to run up it one day...yeah, I pretty much sucked at that one). If that doesn't sound ambitious enough to you, please consider that everyday I see several people walk to it, SIT DOWN, and then read a newspaper or book for the rest of their "ride." Yes, there's enough time for that...it's 508 feet long (and really slow).

This Blog has not yet been rated.

2005-05-27T08:47:00.000-06:00

Life-learned lesson: never lose one's contact while driving on the L.A. freeway.

This morning, my right contact fell out as I was merging onto the 110 (after exiting the 73, catching the 405, twilighting on the 55, and detouring on the 101), and I thoughtlessly tossed it into a bottle of Crystal Lite lemonade in the cup-holder until I could stick it back in. I'm practically blind without my contacts, so I made the attempted reinsertion just moments later--without realizing that a lemonade-drenched plastic disc is not something one wants to put in one's eye. Especially while driving at 75 mph. Let's just say that when all my high-pitched screaming and violent car swerving died down, I think I had been cited as a SIG-alert on the traffic updates.
Can I just say: Nancy and I are SOOOO beating Christy and Ellie for SoCal partying. We played at Balboa the ENTIRE weekend, and are both decidedly more tan from the experience (having changed shades from "neoglow white" to "slightly pastier than Elmers"). N and I also went to hear Josh's dad speak at a fireside, where we sat on the front row like groupies, dying over HOW SIMILAR JOSH IS TO HIS FATHER. Josh, your dad is hilarious. I'm two seconds away from buying a Volkswagen bus and following him cross country.

--carolyn

Oyez, Oyez...

2005-05-27T04:00:00.000-06:00

Friday, I had the opportunity to attend the Queensland Court of Appeals in Brisbane. The good news: The barristers wore robes and wigs. The bad news: I didn't.

All four barristers (a senior and junior counsel for each side) wore the same blonde horsehair wig. However, counsel for appellant was wearing a wig that didn't quite fit his head. Rather, it just seemed to sit there like some sort of small dead blonde muskrat that had perched there previously and, upon listening to counsel speak, had died from boredom. His robe similarly looked like a bad halloween costume. It was a mourning coat made out of stiff cloth that curled at the lapels and had banners (nothing else would adequately describe them) hanging from the sleeves to where they nearly touched the ground. I know that it's supposed to be a privilege to wear that robe (only those designated queen's counsel may do it), but it looked like a punishment. I dunno, maybe I'm being too harsh; after all, I could only see him from the back in the gallery.The judges were much more casually attired with open robes and no wigs (can't say as I blame them. They look like they would seriously itch).

My impression of the process: inefficient. There were no colored lights to tell counsel to shut up; in fact, there were no time limits at all. I had no idea when I signed on for this the day before that it would take all day long. When court started, counsel started handing extra submissions into the court. Super. Appellant's counsel started off with some weaksauce argument about the credibility of the respondent as a witness. It was a question of fact that counsel assured the court was a question of law. The bench was not impressed. They asked once why he began with his weakest argument. I, for one, was wondering why, after they said that, he kept with the argument for another hour and 20 minutes. Court began at 10:15. By 1:00, appellant's counsel had still not finished. We broke for lunch and the solicitor I came with started to tell me war stories about old personal injuries cases he had done. When I asked him about the time, he told me that it had actually gotten better. In the federal high court, a barrister had once gone on for four days. I suppose that's why folks here can stand cricket.

After lunch, we resumed and appellant's counsel finally wrapped up his argument after 45 minutes of pain. Our barrister finally gets up and is immediately told by the court to ignore the credibility argument. I almost felt sorry for the other side. Almost. About halfway through the argument, I feel a tap on my shoulder. I looked up and (ugh) our client was standing in front of me, handing me a paper that she wanted handed to counsel explaining some things about a nursing procedure. I quietly explained that I did not have access to the well where counsel was, and that knowing the procedure was not the problem; finding it in the transcript was. She was frustrated, but I got her sat back down. Finally, at 4:15, court adjourned and I slunk away with Kevin (the solicitor) while the client chided the barristers. Kevin told me that he had tried his hardest, up to the point of almost lying to the client to get her to stay home. Luckily, this is the only appeal of right, and we likely won. In any event, he wouldn't have to talk to her until a judgment came down (at least two weeks, more likely 2 months). It's little experiences like this that make me think, "Gee, I can't wait to get some clients of my very own!" Bleh.

Choose the left: a driving story

2005-05-27T03:42:00.000-06:00

On Wednesday I drove over here for the first time. On the left. With a stick. I am convinced that driving on the left alone would have been wild enough, but compounded with the extra mental exertion required to pay attention to a clutch, it made for an interesting drive to institute.

Last week, I told my boss that I had to leave early to get over to Nerang for institute. He asked me when it was, and I told him it was at 7:00, but I had to leave at 4:30 because I had to catch three different buses to get there. He thought I shouldn't have to do that and offered the firm's car as soon as I figured out what I had to do to drive here legally. Turns out that I had to do nothing but take my passport with me. So, the next week I took the car out of the parking garage and motored off to Institute.

Now, I'm not incompetent when it comes to driving a stick. In fact, my first car was a four-on-the-floor 1980 Ford Fairmont (with weird naugahyde seats that imprinted funny patterns on to your skin if you sat on it for too long). However, I haven't driven it, or any other car with a manual transmission, since my junior year of high school (9 years...wow). Anyway, It took some concentration, but I soon got used to it.

However, it took a bit more getting used to the finer points of driving on the left. Besides having moments of indecision when I took a right turn or entered a roundabout, there were other small things I took for granted. Trying to find my seatbelt (over the right shoulder). Checking my blind spot. Figuring out which lane is the fast lane. But the worst one of all was that every time I wanted to make a lane change, my wiper blades would swish across the windshield. I'm still not used to having the turn signal on the right rather than the left. I guess I should just feel lucky that the clutch is still on the left and the gas feed on the right, or I'd still be in the parking garage.

One Time's Got No Case

2005-05-25T17:06:00.000-06:00

Remember that reserved decision from Wellington? Well, I just got the fax, and the judge ruled in our client's favor!!! In your face, Crown!!! This delicious savor of victory and power over the powers that be-- with their trumped-up allegations and smug investigators on the witness stand-- is intoxicating. I fought with the brain and not the gat. Peace and I'm outta here.

Making me feel good.

2005-05-25T13:57:00.000-06:00

Today I saw my future. I saw an attorney almost get disbarred because he sucked at "thinking like a lawyer." Ok, it wasn't that bad, but he did suck, both as a lawyer and as a human. He was the public defender, and he hasn't had a single objection sustained, and he doesn't seem to understand anything. His poor client is going to get life instead of 15 because he is such a terrible advocate. On the other hand, the prosecution is amazing. They have produced 60 peices of evidence, while the defense attorney, who I affectionately call "Gomer" has produced 2. The judge has yelled at him, and I have a hard time not laughing whenever he walks around because he dresses slick, but recently hurt his leg, so he hobbles around limping.
On a brighter note, LV just became HOT. The temperature has broken 100 every day during the last week. I bought new sunglasses for the heat, and I went for a cross between child molester glasses, and Top Gun aviators . . . is that me or what.
If anyone is in Provo this summer and wants to go camping every weekend, let me know.
Brady

Hot in Arizona

2005-05-23T14:14:00.000-06:00

It's 106-113 here, ouch, but on the plus side, it makes spending my whole day in an air conditioned office building more appealing.

Hi all! I love reading about all of your adventures, it reminds me that I am in good company in my foolishness and awkward adjustment to the law firm world. I am externing in Phoenix at a firm that concentrates on water and municipal law. It's a small firm and very friendly. At first I was exciled to a back office where I never saw anyone. After almost a week of withdrawls from human contact, I moved into a vacant secretarial cublicle to be more in the flow... although the cubicle is kind of like a glorified carrel from the law library and the people are much less fun.

I have written a lease, researched the Forest Service Environmental Impact review process for Snowbowl's proposal to make snow from Effluent, and now I am reviewing a huge appellate brief filed by a Native American tribe over it's water rights in Southern Arizona. It totally amazed me when I noticed that the brief cites to Johnson v.M'Intosh-- I never thought I'd see that case in anything current and I am regretting that I my understanding never went too far beyond my answer to Professor Fee that, "sure if you discover the planet you should own it" stage. Dang. I should have paid more attention! Now, back to work...

Extended post here

that last post of mine didn't seem very positive

2005-05-22T22:08:00.000-06:00

It's great here. It's different. It's been fun to learn to drive on the wrong side of the road and to talk in a funny accent and to be on the local radio because I'm a novelty. They think americans here are pretty sweet as - and yes they all say "sweet as" and only as, not the longer version, and I'm still trying to make sense of it. There are apparently volcanoes everywhere and not very many people. Lots of it really does look like the Shire. Ask Randy, he knows too.
I haven't fallen through the hole in the ozone - which by the way, really does exist in spite of the U.S.'s failed attempts to hide it.
Okay, I'm nice again. But if anyone ever thinks of leaving their spouse that they are relatively newly married to, to go to another hemisphere for more than a week, talk to me. I will try very hard to discourage you.
Amanda

the question I hate the most

2005-05-22T22:01:00.000-06:00

So the question I hate the most is - "So, how do you like New Zealand?" It's like asking a kid whose parents were divorced - "so, is that hard?" I mean how do you answer it? It's probably pretty obvious, but it's new, I'm not really comparing it to anything else - except that it's raining like crazy, but how do you rate that? Sure, it's really cool, but it's raining all the time and I see the inside of a courtroom and a house most of the time. Yeah, I've had a meat pie, and seen a rugby game or two, and even started saying "Cheers," but what am I supposed to say? I say it's great, it's different.
It has been interesting, but I think I'll know what I really thing starting this weekend when I finally get my spouse back and then we get to actually see New Zealand, not my office or a courthouse.
Hope everyone else is surviving.
Amanda

Josh's pictures

2005-05-21T17:42:00.000-06:00

Some photos from Josh.

Toby's adorable.

This is what Toby thinks of summer break.

This is what Toby thinks about the Law Review Board.

This is where I am when I'm not drafting court orders or wanting to strangle the attorneys who write 60-page briefs that suck.

happy traaaails to you

more happy trails

Now wasn't that special?

The Idiot in Portland

2005-05-21T10:30:00.000-06:00

I must admit that I thought I was capable of going anywhere and surviving. And by surviving I mean finding my way around without making a complete idiot of myself. I was wrong.

I figured Portland would be no big deal. Anyway, the night before my externship I drive all around my not so little suburb to find the nearest MAX station. What should have taken two minutes to fine instead took two hours. The next morning I leave my apartment at 7:30, even though I don't have to be to work until 9. By 7:33 I'm at the station. It's raining, and my umbrella is in my car. However, since I brought my mom's car with me to Portland, this doesn't help me much. Apparently she removed her umbrella before I took her car, and apparently it's going to be one of those days. So, I sit in the car as long as I can stand it, and then I rush over to the train station.

By 7:50 I'm on the train. This is my first time dealing with public transportation of any sort other than a school bus (oddly Utah and Colorado really don't understand the idea of public transport), so I'm a little uncertain of what to expect. I'm wearing heels and carrying my laptop, and there are no seats. I grab on to one of the bars as the train lurches forward. Inevitably, I'm facing the opposite way from which the train is headed, a couple on one side of me is making out, a person standing very close on the other side of me doesn't know the meaning of personal hygiene, and there's really no other direction to look but at the person in front of me, who happens to be staring straight at me. By the time my stop comes, I have nearly fallen over more times than I can remember, and the train is spinning. I step out and find that it's pouring and I don't know where I am.

I start walking and call a friend who happens to work in the same building I do. Four blocks later she tells me I'm going the wrong way. I turn around and walk, still in the pouring rain with heels, no umbrella and a laptop that is getting heavier by the second. What should have been a five-minute walk takes infinitely longer. I make it to the building and get in an elevator. The elevator only goes to the 21st floor. I need the 34th floor. I find a bathroom and call my friend. I took the wrong elevator. I have to go back down to the lobby and take an elevator on the left side. Was there any sign indicating this? No. Grumbling, I push the button and a door for an elevator on the right side opens. I push the button again, and again, an elevator on the right side is ready. I am severely tempted to go back to bed and put my pillow over my head. But then I would have to deal with the whole walking and train situation again, and oddly enough I'd rather stay here at the moment. Finally a door for an elevator on the left side opens up, and I get in.

At 9:00 I make it to the right floor and meet my supervisor. Life seems okay aside from the fact that I'm soaking wet and my feet are killing me. We sit and talk for a little while, but then he wants to walk around and introduce me to everyone. One hour and fourty people later my feet are throbbing and I realize I'm carrying my laptop around for no freakin reason. Apparently it's my security blanket. My supervisor and I talk for a little while again until the meeting with the office manager and some of the partners gets out. We circle the office several more times in order to meet these people. As I admire the views from the windows on the outer ring of the office, I discover I will be sitting in a copy-type room with no windows. I'm fine with this until I later discover that the paid law clerk gets a huge office with windows, and even a temporary employee who will later be occupying my cubicle gets to use an office with a view until I leave. I'm really not bitter, but it would seem that the easiest route would be to let me use the office? Call me crazy. I also later discover that my cubicle neighbors are extremely chatty and don't know the meaning of quiet. I haven't discovered if they understand "shut the heck up" yet, since I might actually want to work at this firm later on! I'm pretty sure my supervisor wouldn't let me go home to work, so I haven't yet found a solution to this problem. Anyway, I'll move on.

I somehow make it through the day, and at some point someone remembers to show me where the bathroom is. I make it to the train station, survive the ride home, and even purchase an umbrella for the next day. The next morning I wear comfortable shoes to walk in, leave my laptop at home (on purpose), and feel confident. When I get to work my computer doesn't have word or wordperfect installed on it and I have no network access. I go to the kitchen to get some water and the door won't open. No matter how hard I try to turn the handle, it doesn't open. People are standing all around me, but nobody says a word to me. The day before I had been the star of the office and now, nobody cares! So a few hours later I email the office manager with my computer problems and ask about the kitchen door. Big mistake. She was already pissed at the IT people and hearing that they had done nothing with my computer resulted in a stream of four-letter words much worse than Stacey's rushing from her mouth. She then disgustingly asks me what I mean by the door won't open- did I push it? Question: why would I push a door that is closed and has a handle? Answer: because that is the way this door opens. The handle is merely for decorative purposes it seems. So now the office manager thinks I am a complete idiot. But, on the bright side, I can't do any work because the IT guys are fixing my computer.

By the end of the day I have network connection and software, along with a complex that I am indeed an idiot. The day ends with eating a lot of chocolate and watching Bridget Jones. Luckily, the rest of the week evens out. Friday after work I have a nice walk downtown. Saturday I drive out to the coast and remember why I wanted to come here in the first place.

I still feel like an idiot at times, but I have had some fun experiences. Earlier this week I attended a dinner with all of the attorneys at a country club, and I spent the majority of the night listening to war stories from inebriated, hilarious old men. It was very entertaining and the food was amazing. And, more importantly, I didn't get lost on my way to the club. (Although someone apparently thought I would, because I received no less than five maps.) Even though my experience hasn't been quite as amazing or entertaining as many of you, I am learning how to look like I know where I'm going and what I'm doing, and right now that and being out of Utah are all that matter to me! I'm sure I'll have many more "idiot" moments, but hopefully the birds, the trees, and the ocean can console me! Since the first two are few and far between in Utah and the third is nonexistent, don't be surprised if I don't come back!

The Mythical Mt. Taranaki- and other short stories-- by Randall

2005-05-19T21:58:00.000-06:00

Yes, friends, I am in wonderful New Plymouth now. I am staying with a lawyer here in the firm. In his cottage, more specifically. It's cool! my balcony overlooks the garden, which is absolutely gorgeous, they breed parakeets (their quarters are behind the cottage) and New Plymouth is right on the ocean. It's also where most of the filming for the Last Samurai was done.

This is because Mt. Taranaki, which overlooks town, is very similar in appearance to Mt. Fuji. Not that I'd know, because it's been raining cats and dogs since I've been here. It cleared up yesterday, so I caught a glimpse of the corner of it out the window of my office. I'll keep you updated on whether it actually exists or not, though. I try to get home in a hurry each day so I can get a good run in before it gets dark(it's "winter" here). But it gets dark while I run, usually. It was cool, because yesterday I was running through the forest (picture jurassic park scenery) and it got dark. It was kind of like State Highway 20 between Rexburg and Idaho Falls on a blizzardy January night-- I was moving along with eyes wide open, only having a vague idea of where I was going or if I was still on the trail because of light limitations, and then suddenly it was like a scooby-doo cartoon where, when it gets dark, glowing eyes appear. I was startled, but then I realized that those glowing eyes in the underbrush on either side of the trail were merely glow worms illuminating to lure a snack. They looked like stars and it was beautiful. It's been raining today, too, so my after-work run may be limited to the ocean-side boardwalk. My life sucks. Oh-- I found a leak of billy corgan's The Future Embrace EP online, so I got a sneak peek of the new album that comes out June 21...not that any of you are fans, but that's the coolest thing that's happened this week! oh-- I saw Revenge of the Sith, too. That was intense. I was buzzing throughout the whole affair. Forgive me for not mentioning the legal side of this, but is that why I came to New Zealand? I could have done my thing in Idaho Falls and thrilled and chilled each of you with tedious, detailed, reports of work, but-- c'mon. New Zealand just stands out on the ol' resume... and you really don't want to read about the legal intricacies of NZ anyway. Just like when I read Beau's I wanna hear about baseball games, and when I read Brady's I want more information about the crack whores. But for those of you chomping at the bit for more legal action, um.. I sifted and summarized some Charitable Organizations legislation. Isn't that dope? Speaking of dope, I am the Lord of Thrift stores, because I got the sickest cordouroy coat at Salvation Army the other day for like $4. It's light light tan lined with brown wool. Dope! I used to have one just like it when I was little. I am scoring at thrift stores here because New Zealanders have a different sense of style and leave the cool stuff alone. Also, old dirty clothes aren't worn by New Zealanders, generally. Not to say they are preppy here-- in fact, the preppy style doesn't exist. It's more Mad Max- beyond thunderdome style. Lots of dreadlocks, dyed hair, tattoos, and rings in the face. And it's totally normal here. In fact, most girls have lip rings or something. Even the registrar at the Waikato District Court. It's pretty amusing how laid back here. One court recorder even had a Kiss tie, with the 4 faces of Kiss on it. Talk about Professional! I went to Parliament in Wellington and saw a "questions to the Prime Minister" session, and it was just riotous. It was like Bill O'Reilly vs. Michael Moore or something. They were slinging it. I also visited Victoria University's Law School, which is housed in the largest all-wooden building in the southern hemisphere. I noticed that some of the students had their "Harvard" t-shirts on and I wondered if, were they to attend some sort of formal conference there, they would dress nice. I should proseletyze for byu law and randomly distribute T shirts here. It's funny. I wear my byu law sweatshirt here knowing that it makes no sense to people here, because law is part of the regular curriculum of any four-year institute and most people don't know that law school is a post-graduate thing in the States.

More Life in DC

2005-05-18T12:12:00.000-06:00

Hey guys! I have an hour before my next meeting here at the House, so I just thought I would take a moment and update you on my life here.

-This morning I attended a House mark-up session for a bill to reduce the amount of frivolous lawsuits (my firm is lobbying for it). I sat there for an hour and half while the Judiciary Committee marked up other bills (and stared at Lane, who happened to be there with Congressman Cannon) only to have the Committee adjourn without ever getting to our bill. You would think I would be crushed, but no, I was quite happy to just sit there and then go eat a free lunch. I'm glad my lunch was free because I got a little overzealous at the "make your own sandwich bar." I accidentally put more meat on than I wanted, but felt too guilty to put it back on the public plate in front of everyone...then the same thing happened with the onion and tomatoes. I think it was the most expensive sandwich ever. Three minutes later Lane showed up with his "appropriately" sized sandwich. With shame I tried to hide mine beneath 2 or 3 (or 6 napkins), but I don't think it really worked.

-On another note, I feel like I am constantly living in a stereotype of the Republican Party. Each day I attend meetings with old, white men to lobby for the causes of other old, white men. Oftentimes, I feel like I'm living in the 1950s. For example, yesterday I attended a meeting at the Metropolitan Club, and I felt so outnumbered and out of place (being the only person that was female and under 60) that I honestly though someone was going to come up to me and ask me to leave because the club had a rule about not allowing women. In addition, at every single breakfast/brunch/luncheon I have attended so far, I have never been waited on by a white person. Everyone is either elderly and black or young and hispanic. It's really quite disturbing.

-Okay, now on to the more interesting stuff...At least in my opinion. Monday this old, homeless, bum-like man boarded the metro in MD...which is weird b/c most of those types are downtown...and the DC subway isn't often filled with freaks (like NYC's is). He kept on singling people out and the car and yelling things about them or asking them questions...Like he harassed this huge guy beside me about playing football, asking him when he practiced, etc. But anyway, unfortunately before he got off, he decided to harass ME. He turned to me and yelled "Hey you!! Yeah you!! You're a really pretty girl! Yeah, a really pretty girl!! I like that thing in you chin! Yeah, that dimple! I dig that!! I DIG THAT!!" I kept on looking around and trying not to make eye contact so he would lose interest...But it didn't really work...And no one else would make eye contact with me or detract attention!! Sadly, this is not the scariest encounter I have had with a man regarding my butt-chin. My senior year of high school this guy I worked with announced to my entire office that he really wanted to "bite my dimple" (much to the amusement of my redneck co-workers). Going to work was never really the same after that...I mean, how can you go to work everyday and feel safe knowing that someone in your office wants to bite you?

-On Saturday, Justin and I drove to some nearby outlet malls to shop. On the way there I made some joke about Justin being an accident...Instead of laughing, Justin just turned to me and said "I was an accident!?!?! My mom told you I was an accident!!! I didn't know that! Oh my gosh! I was an accident!! My parents didn't want me!!" I felt kinda bad...kinda like I had crushed his little Nunley world. Luckily though, his mom fixed everything later that night...

Justin: "yeah, I was a mistake...I didn't know I was a mistake...You never told me that"
Justin's mom: (in a blunt tone) "you weren't a mistake, you were an accident"

Isn't it great how moms can always make you feel better?

Chicago to DC

2005-05-18T07:23:00.000-06:00

Well folks, last week I went out to DC to see a friend of mine (Brady: To let you know, it was Matt Higginson and his wife, but the mysterious Darren Zufelt was there as well. I am serious about that!! He was really there!!) So I got to see the sights and take some cool pictures, visit all the memorials, Matt gave me a tour of the Capitol Building (He works for Harry Reid) and I drove around old-town Alexandria. It was a good trip, but it felt the same as Chicago.

I think everywhere feels like the same place right now because I have displacement-itis. I think that is the correct medical term for it. Everywhere is new, so nothing is new. Anybody ever felt that one before. But I could tell it was DC because of all of the stuff, the humidity, and I could feel the presence of Lane and Wheeler in the air even though I never saw them. I just imagined Senator M. Lane Molen gallovanting and perusing the back alleys of DC in an attempt to get a head start on his run for senate in 2020. Just you all wait. I am going to be his campaign manager!

Chicago is still great and I am no longer feeling that I am an outsider. I love the city and went to three baseball games last week (two at Wrigley and one down at the Sox park). It was a good week to say the least. Oh how I love to watch that little white ball fly around the field. It is poetry in motion.

Work is wonderful and I am busy with five different projects staring me in the face. If you wonder why I am taking the time to post with so much to do, I will inform you that our server is down and I don't have any access to the documents I have been working on. I have also been told that I will be notified through electronic mail when the server is back up and running. Well pals, hope all is going well and lets keep those blogger profiles coming!!!

Sights of Vegas

2005-05-17T21:16:00.000-06:00

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. At least I hope so, because my work product is pretty shoddy, and I wouldn’t want that to catch up with me. Also, I don’t want the crap that I’ve seen to follow me anywhere. Things I have seen:

*Medium porn. Not soft, but not hard, medium. I usually see it when I avert my eyes to the ground and the smut is on the pavement. I think I need to be more stiff-necked, so that my head lowering humility doesn’t effect my morality.
*I see the wedding lines outside the courthouse where I work. I elbow my way through the line in an attempt to enter the building each morning. Most of the couples have been out all night and are plastered, so it is fun because drunken brides yell at me for what they think is cutting the line. Apparently, they feel that a person can get married alone.
*Picture “The Count” from sesame street: I’ve seen one . . . ah ah ah . . . two . . . ah ah ah . . . and so forth until you get to SEVEN different dead bodies. I have had to study the entrance wounds and the exit wounds of each body from dozens of different angles. One guys throat was slit so badly that I could even see his windpipe. Ewwwww.
*I have seen a man sentenced to death
*I’ve seen defendants shout four letter words at judges
*I’ve seen judges ask witness to identify something so that the witness would provide the judge with a better view of her cleavage. I swear, the judge did that during a death penalty hearing.
*Another judge told a witness (who happened to be a crack whore) as he dismissed her:
Judge: “You can go home and get high now.”
Witness: “Oh, believe me, I will after this. But I’ll be sure to do it in my own home.”
Judge: “That’s usually the safest place.”
Witness: “I don’t want to get arrested.”
Judge: “No, don’t worry about it. You are excused.”
*I saw some dude running up and down the strip with a tennis racket. I don’t know why, but he also had sunglasses, three sweaters a gold chain and sunglasses on.
*I have seen buffet’s, lots of them.
*I’ve seen justice, and I’ve seen a lot of it. It moves fast. Like 50 cases in an hour fast. That’s just over a minute for each case, but amazingly, it seems fair and well done most of time.
*I’ve seen mercy, a lot more mercy than justice. When I do see justice, it strikes hard.

Anyways, my externship is a bit different than most. I get assignments, but I have to find them myself. I am there for about 9 hours per day, but I spend about 5 hours in court. I get assignments, but no deadlines. In fact, if there is a chance to be in court, I am supposed to go and watch that instead.

Keep the posts coming in, because I love to live vicariously through you.

"the externs"

2005-05-17T18:04:00.000-06:00

What's up yall. This is Ellie and Christy, and we are definitely enjoying our experience down here in SOCAL.

Our firm is great, and our supervisors are wonderful. They are both partners here, and they litigate most of their cases together. We are learning a TON. We spent our entire first week up in Los Angeles in binding arbitration (which we quickly learned is essentially a bench trial, formalities and all), and it was great to watch them go. Our second week (last week) we were assigned a couple issues to brief for a case that’s on appeal, so that has been keeping us busy. It’s a really interesting PI case with a $13 million swing. That much money is definitely motivating. We’ve also been able to attend a hearing, a settlement conference, part of a state trial (which was hilarious because Ellie knew one of the jurors and he totally looked over and acknowledged her in the middle of the prosecution’s opening statement), part of a federal trial, a will-signing . . . oh, and CLUB 33. For all you non-SO-CAL peeps, you’ll have to ask your friends about that one. And yes it included an entire night of Disneyland (both parks). But both of us agree that our favorite experience yet is probably flying (literally at times) over to Catalina Island for lunch on the boss’ speedboat. Skydiving nothing, we were pulling 80 mph and catching serious AIR off the swells, somehow managing to get from Newport Harbor to the island in 25 minutes. Anyway, everyone at our firm is extremely kind and generous and fun, and we appreciate the way they have accepted us and treat us as equals.

Happy lawyering!

Ellie & Christy
Smith, Chapman, Khabazian, & Watkins

Bubba, esq.

2005-05-17T08:22:00.000-06:00

I preared a bench memo for a 2255 motion, which is similar to habeas corpus, but a bit simpler and only concerns errors in sentencing. The judge explained to me that every federal prison has its legal expert who helps all the other inmates to file their pro se motions (do you think this upsets the local bar associations?). One of their favorite complaints is ineffective assistance of counsel.

I wonder if the legal expert of each prison gets to smoke like four packs a day, or if he gets some other kind of compensation. Some of them actually do a pretty good job, though the typewriter-written motions are not the most aesthetically pleasing things I've ever seen. So anyway, since grades are coming out soon, I just wanted everyone to be reassured that there will always be work for us no matter how well we do or where we end up. You may have to settle for cigarettes as payment, but hey, at least you get to wear one of those comfy and stylish one-piece embroidered (or maybe stamped) ensembles. You probably don't get beat up as much either. Ahhh, to be one of the elite!
P.S. Always check the statute of limitations. I spent a whole day analyzing some very bad arguments to make sure there was no merit in them and then reexamined the 2255 statute under which the inmate was filing his motion. He had missed the period of limitations by about 5 years. DOH!

Carolyn in Cali

2005-05-16T17:12:00.000-06:00

This last week was another long corporate kiss of terror, lightened by my first real-live accident on the L.A. freeway. I'll spare the traumatizing details, but picture something along the lines of Rush Hour meets Road Warrior, involving a motorcyclist and an SUV the size of a brontosaurus.

(I wasn't involved in the main accident and escaped quite unscathed…though I wonder if a short little hospital stay wouldn't have been nice.). Like Jenn, I have very nearly thrown myself out the window but am stopped by the thought of ruining my patent leather pumps (they are so very cute). So until I grow less fond of my shoes, it's work, work, work in this high-rise prison of doom. I've got to admit, though, that the job has become a very little bit interesting since the firm sent me to an international banking conference where I got to rub elbows with big-wig foreign bank presidents and the director of the FDIC, to boot. Pretty fancy fun.
Beyond the work, I'm having a delightful time playing with my family. This weekend I stayed at my twin sister's house in L.A. and volunteered for "the Cinderella project"--a charity event that donates dresses, makeup, and hair services to inner-city girls who want to go to prom but can't afford it. I was on makeup duty, and had so much fun getting all the darling girls gussied up for a night on the town. One of the girls was so excited when she found out I was studying law, and wanted to know if my work was like an episode of "Law and Order." I told her, "um,...well...sort of." I hope I'm not struck down dead for lying.

Wellington the Beautiful

2005-05-16T16:11:00.000-06:00

New Zealand is ridiculously beautiful. So beautiful, in fact, that it gets old.

It's like there are a million full-time gardeners and landscapers constantly grooming the countryside. I'm going to think I've just entered the 9th circle of hell when I land in Utah in a few weeks. Well, I went to Wellington last week with my mentor to take a case to trial. I had studied this case and even drafted an "Application of No Case to Answer" which is just a motion to dismiss. We flew into Wellington and went and met our client. I must say that after having studied the case, meeting the client was a bit surreal-- kind of like meeting the Kendricks or something. Odd. Anyway, after one day of trial, I was a bit horrified when, after the prosecution rested, my mentor whipped out the motion I'd drafted and used it to present the Application of No Case to Answer to the judge. I was sure I would be exposed and humiliated, but the proceedings seemed to go on as though nothing was awry. The next morning when we resumed the judge apparently felt that there was a case to answer, so we presented our 2 witnesses and the judge gave a "reserved" ruling, which means that she'll give an answer whenever she pleases, so there you have 2 unsatisfying, unconclusive trials in a row. The good news is that I kicked it in Wellington all weekend and it was sweet-- I saw a few locales where lord of the rings was filmed, even saw the outdoor mall where, in an alleged drunken haze one night, elijah wood peed in a fountain. Wow. I was certainly star-struck. At church I met one of Geoff Jermaine's buddies that works at WETA --currently working on King Kong--and got his contact info so I can possibly look into interning with their legal dept. next summer. Or something.

Body Surfing

2005-05-15T18:36:00.000-06:00

This Saturday was totally beautiful weather, perfect for being on the beach. So, I took the bus down to Surfer's Paradise and tried to get my bodysurf on.

I have been to several beaches in my lifetime, but none with really good waves. So, I was unprepared for what awaited me at the beach. I waded out into the 72 deg water and tried to bodysurf. I caught my first large wave, which I held for about 3 seconds before I got kicked up on the curl, causing me to somersault forward and sucking me under. A little battered but none the worse for wear, I bobbed in the waves and tried to regain my place between the flags, swimming south. I swam, but I didn't really accomplish anything because the current was so strong. So I got out, started at the south end and tried again. I jumped, but a strong rip caught my feet and made me tumble again. I continued on like this for several mouthfuls of seawater until I decided I'd had enough for a while and went on the beach to watch people who knew what they were doing. My observations:

1 -- It would be easier to do this with a boogie board; something I must look into.
2 -- Australian money is waterproof (just thought I'd throw this in here -- water beads on their paper money).
3 -- It's gonna take a bit more work before I can escape my landlocked desert past.

I have a new best friend...

2005-05-15T17:59:00.000-06:00

. . . and it's name is dictaphone.

I am a horribly slow typist, but never fear, I have two WP's in the office that will do all the typing for me. All I have to do is to talk into a little tape recorder and give the tape to them. It was totally weird at first trying to talk on a tape recorder and hearing my voice when I tried to back up and find my place. But slowly, I am getting used to it and am starting to realize that being a lawyer doesn't mean typing all day. If that's all I learn on this externship, then . . . the sandy beaches will make it worthwhile.

Eat your heart out, Swayze!!

2005-05-13T22:58:00.000-06:00

Okay, Week 2 in Hamilton. (Picture the opening credits to Miami Vice or L.A. law, featuring beautiful panoramas of a tropical vista, shots of fast cars, cool music playing, and the occasional action shot of a key actor pounding a desk, rolling his eyes, or lowering his shades and giving a cool as ice smirk or grimace, briefly interrupted by a freeze frame accompanied with a graphic of his/her real life name that appears at the bottom of the screen.)

That's me-- yeah, the one that was seen on the intro walking down the sidewalk in front of the Waikato District Court toward the camera with sunglasses and a stern look/being auctioned off to a husky maori girl at the area young single adult activity/playing guitar at Hamilton community radio/and freeze frame as I bite into a vegemite sandwich-- (which evoked a look on my face as though I'd just eaten a sh*t sandwich without the bread.) Randall Rowberry- it says. I am the young upstart extern from the states who follows around the savvy defense attourney-- or Barrister sole. We had been working on this case (whose details I'll spare all of you) for the better part of a week, with many hours tracking down some decent witnesses and doing some discovery. Anyhow, the case came to trial and it grew from a 2 day thing(thursday-friday) to a 3 day thing-- we'd have to come back on Monday. The prosecution rested its case on Friday, but there was some work to do to establish the defense for the Jury. So we paraded a slew of people up on the witness stand and made the jury feel nice and fuzzy so they could acquit our client. The defense rested around 3pm and, after laborious jury instructions from the judge, the jury retired to the jury room around 4pm. My mentor and I retired to the Lawyer's room and bs'd with other wisecracking characters who's names were to be featured at the end of the show with their names listed in order of their appearance. There was the Big Bumbling Lawyer, the Young Slick Lawyer (pat riley/andrew dice clay/ben affleck hybrid), Pissed Lesbian Lawyer, and then there was the awkward silence when the opposing lawyer from the prosecution (the Crown) came in to pour herself some coffee-- oh- that would be ...Earnest Chick Lawyer with Hair Pulled Back. So we sat in the lawyer's room for 3 hours until it was time for the jury to eat their dinner, so we left for the hour, too. Then we got back and sat until like 9 frickin 30 at night when the jury came back... to no avail-- they couldn't decide! so they were sent back with instructions to make up their minds, and at 11:15 pm they came back and it was a HUNG JURY. The whole thing would have to be retried from scratch in a month or 2. I then started socking witnesses in the mouth and dumping over tables...in my head. sigh. well, I had a monster headache from all the tension of waiting for the verdict of a fairly serious offense that I think our client didn't do, and all I could think about was sleep. As we sped along the streets of Hamilton (the left side...yeah) toward that seemingly distant oasis of slumber, the memories of that trial and the cringe-evoking thought of going through the whole thing racked my soul. But a song coming over the radio interrupted my thoughts and soothed my troubled mind with the manly purr of that rich barritone voice singing: "and III've haaad ...the time-of-myliiife.. Never felt this way before (never felt this)I swear it's the truth..etc. " I am not kidding nor exaggerating. that happened. My snickers were stifled because I knew it would only be funny to me, (explanation of why it's funny--->that's funny because a dramatic moment had just been consumated and it's like in dirty dancing where they had the time of their life, except my time of my life was with this serious matter, so when you superimpose that romantic context over the serious, sober context of a criminal trial and a lawyer and his apprentice's struggles with it, it creates this irreverent sort of mock-homoerotic ballad that warrants at least a snicker if you are at least half as immature as I am) but I knew it had to be recorded on a distant blog somewhere. I am loving life. See you on the next entry! Be There! (TM all rights reserved, NBC television, 1985) P.S. revenge of the sith THIS Thursday!!!!!!!!!!!

Apparently, I Signed On For Indentured Servitude

2005-05-13T17:25:00.000-06:00

Jenn Wheeler - US Court of Federal Claims, Washington, D.C.

My first week of work is done. Hallelujah. I have never felt so wholly inadequate in my entire life. I’m not kidding! I suck! I honestly don’t know what ever possessed me to even think about becoming a lawyer.

It all started Monday morning. I arrived on time (of course) and got processed in. It was cool – they gave me a badge and everything. I was even sworn in as a government employee by the clerk of the court. I had to raise my right hand and swear to uphold the constitution and the whole nine yards. However, everything pretty much went downhill from there. I was given my first assignment and I settled in to read the motions, briefs, and histories of both parties. I was to write an opinion. I had finally arrived. All the hard work of the past eight months were going to pay off and I’d know what was going on and how to identify the issue and maybe even where to look for the answer. And then I fell asleep. I spent the whole rest of the day trying to figure out how to stay awake. I could barely keep my eyes open rather than figuring out what each party was talking about. It’s a good thing that the judge wasn’t there.

Day two seemed to be going well, at least on the surface. It was definitely light years ahead of day one, that’s for sure. Whereas day one was filled with empty silence and the bone chilling emptiness of a tomb, day two was filled with conferences over draft opinions breaking up slightly shorter periods of empty silence. Whereas day one lunchtime was forced awkward conversation while walking to grab a sandwich and then more silence, day two was filled with awkward conversation over lunch regarding gay marriage and pro-choice social issues. I remained silent. I felt good about the day, despite dodging some close calls at ostracizing myself because of differing political opinions. However, I ran smack into a wall when approaching the formidable judge regarding the hours I would be keeping. I thought 8:30 to 5:30 sounded great… after all, this is government work. Her Honor had different ideas, however, Yes, it’s true, I now work a nine and a ½-hour day. No worries – I didn’t need to have a social life anyway. (Email me if you’re interested in my current opinion on lying, cheating, good for nothing, ex-boyfriends.)

Days three, four, and five have got somewhat better. I no longer want to throw myself down the stairs or an empty elevator shaft. I turned in a first draft of section one of the opinion I’m writing. Seriously, when this is all done, I’ll be able to do a search and find MY opinion on Westlaw… how weird is THAT?! Indentured servitude too high a price to pay for being able to see my words in print without my name on it? Probably.

Oh, and I ran into Bob Dole at Costco yesterday. I love DC. And even though that plane got within three miles of the White House and my office is literally across the street from the White House, don’t worry – although the Treasury and Old Executive Office Buildings were evacuated, no one cares about the US Court of Federal Claims or the Court of Appeals for the Federal Circuit. Let them die.

Interesting News Item

2005-05-13T04:18:00.000-06:00

According to this article, It seems that the Provo Police have been taken to task for using church property to issue their speeding tickets. I can only guess that they mean the football stadium parking lot, because that's what they do there. Glad to see that the silliness gets curbed around there every once in a while. Now if only we could do something about the popo breaking up the dance parties...

Stacey: I'm in DC and the only shopping I've done is forum shopping

2005-05-10T14:30:00.000-06:00

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF STACEY

6:30am-alarm clock goes off
6:40am-drag self out of 300 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets
7:15am-depart house for 8:30am breakfast meeting in DC regarding the statute of repose bill and other product liability reforms (commute should take about an hour…I drive 15-20 minutes to the closest metro stop and the take the metro into DC or to VA depending on where I am working that day)
7:20am-pull onto unusually crowded street that goes to metro
7:25am-sit in traffic
7:30am-sit in traffic
7:35am-sit in traffic
7:40am-try to not use four letter word to describe the fact that I will be late to the meeting on Capitol Hill
7:41am-fail at not using four letter word to describe the fact that I will be late to the meeting on Capitol Hill
7:45am-sit in traffic
7:50am-sit in traffic (pass by police cars and site of a recent car wreck)
7:55am-arrive at metro station…discover that because I have arrived at a late hour, there is no parking
7:56am-use four letter word to describe parking situation
8:06am-board metro to Capitol South stop
8:15am-realize I have forgotten which room of the Cannon Building meeting is in
8:16am-realize I have forgotten cell phone and therefore cannot call anyone to ask
8:17am-realize that I don’t have my company’s phone number with me so it doesn’t really matter anyway
8:18am-use four letter word to describe aforementioned situations
8:40am-arrive at Cannon Building…only 10 minutes late!! Yes!! Wait!! I don’t know where I’m going…dang it!
8:45am-locate meeting…phrew!! Discover that my boss is not attending because he got stuck in traffic…YES!!….he would like me to represent company at meeting…NO!!!!
8:50am-meeting actually gets around to starting
8:50am -9:25am-BS way through representing company at meeting/eat a lovely breakfast of eggs, muffins, hashbrowns, sausage, and OJ
9:30am-exit building to commute to VA
9:35am-push small schoolchildren down metro stairs because my train is arriving and I don’t want to miss it and wait 12 minutes for another one
10:10am-arrive in VA
10:15am-discover last bus to office left at 10:08am (apparently they only run in the mornings to get people to work and in the afternoons to take them home)
10:16am-use four letter word
10:17am-am upset at self for such ample use of vulgar language…so, use four letter word b/c am upset at self for using so many four letter words…sigh
10:20am-waste 50 whole cents at stupid pay phone calling boss to explain situation…he says to take a taxi that he will expense to the company…yeah!!
10:25am-get in taxi with a really scary Eastern European man who talks way too much...he tells me that "it is not a day for working, it is a day for drinking wine!"
10:45am-Taxi driver takes a wrong turn
11:05am-finally arrive at VA office (taxi total $35)

(HAS ANYONE ELSE NOTICED THAT I’VE ONLY BEEN AWAKE 4 HOURS AND 15 MIN?!?!?!)

11:05am-5pm-work on our company’s actions on a postal reform bill and social security reform…work on press release concerning civil justice reform
5:08pm-board bus back to metro
5:30pm-board metro back to MD...delay on red line...apparently one of the cars has stopped working and they have to take it off the track...
7:00pm-arrive at metro parking garage in MD…forgot where I parked the car…oh yes, IN BFE!!!
7:01pm-try to hide from lady who parked next to me this morning while she is getting in her car after work because I suddenly remember that one of my many four letter words this morning was directed at her and her parking skills
7:15pm-arrive home
7:16pm-throw caffeinated coke can (the only thing available in close proximity to my hand) at Justin for working 9:30-6 at job 20 minutes away for WAY TOO MUCH money
7:20pm-can’t decide whether I should watch one of my 2 televisions, cook something to eat in my private kitchen, stand on my private balcony, sit in the hot tub, or stare in amazement at my walk in closet that actually holds ALL of my shoes
7:5opm-decide to just collapse on bed
8:20pm-Justin’s mom yells downstairs to me that she has saved me a plate of food…she asks if steak is okay…UM, YES!!
8:30pm-Justin walks in kitchen…tells me that we can either go bowling tonight “or, in the alternative, I can watch him bowl”
8:31pm-feel blessed to be living with someone that gives me such choices
9pm-10pm-bowling
12ishpm-bed

Carolyn's caveat

2005-05-09T14:28:00.000-06:00

Y'know, I really shouldn't post while cranky and in the middle of a stressful work day. I sound like I'm suicidal! (I'm not...just rather unhinged).

Carolyn's work

2005-05-09T14:23:00.000-06:00

(Carrie, really--is this like the fourth time you've heard this?) --It's quite funny how things can get off to a smashing start, then so quickly deteriorate into the nightmarish chaos that is my life. I started my job at Carlsmith Ball on Monday and quickly realized that commuting from my family home in Newport Beach to downtown L.A. was going to be a daily four-hour gauntlet of terror. The firm really put out the ol' red carpet, though, and gave me rights to valet parking, (it's hilarious to watch one's dirty '97 Corolla get driven off by a guy in white gloves) my own office (unreal L.A. skyline view), front row tickets to the Dodgers, etc. etc. This is, of course, to make up for the obscene amounts of work they pile on me. I've got a gazillion projects backed up right now, and just finished one of the more intense--a 20 page memo on corporate structural permutations of state-based foreign banking subsidiaries. Tomorrow I have a copyright contract memo due which I have yet to start. There's a guy in litigation that I promised to get back to on a post trial tax motion. I'm frantically reviewing insurance contracts. I'm writing a brief on defeasible fees.

So, yes. The proverbial *(insert word of choice)* has hit the fan, and I'm sitting in an imposing high-rise L.A. office, staring out the lovely windows and wishing I could smash right through them. I fear I am not made for corporate work. If I can only last until D.C...

Miss you terribly, my friends. Hope all is well!

Beau -- Lovin' Chicago

2005-05-08T16:34:00.000-06:00

Hey guys!!!! Things are wonderful here in Chicago, and the weather is finally starting to warm up. I hear that this is one, big happy city once the weather gets nice. The Cubs have been out of town since I got here, so no Cubs game yet, but you better believe that I a going to be sitting in Wrigley as much as I can. I really love this city; it is clean, the people are great, and it has that old-city feel that I love. Just a bunch of old buildings made of brick and crammed together as close as can be. You got to love the old alleys!!! I am living with my cousins that I grew up with in Seattle, and they live in a basement apartment about 10 minutes from Wrigley Field. The apartment is small but nice to come home to. The only problem is that I cannot stand up straight in the shower. The ceiling is just a little too low. That is something I havent had to deal with since I was in Japan. My job is great too. If you want to look up the firm I work at Hinshaw & Culbertson LLP (www.hinshawlaw.com) The firm has around 180 attorneys, so it is a mid-size firm for Chicago specializing in litigation. The people are really friendly and work together in teams all the time. It is a very cooperative and helpful environment. All the people I work with are wonderful and exemplify everything that I love about the city. Up until now I have been working with quite a few different people and had the chance to attend a deposition, a pretrial motion hearing, and a settlement conference. Such a nice break from our little theoretical world we were living in all year. I am sure that most everyone else is feeling a little bit of the same. I also know that negotiation is an important skill because I saw it first-hand in that settlement conference! Remember when we all felt overwhelmed with stuff like con law, I am feeling a little overwhelmed with not having a clue what I am doing. Up until now I have worked on four different cases and they are keeping me busy. I came here at the perfect time and am so glad that they have so much for me to do. The only problem is that our first year has only prepared me a little bit for this hands on experience. I am sitting there reading through briefs, memos, complaints, crosscomplaints, answers, interrogatories, deposition transcripts, motions for trial extensions, etc, and don't have a clue how to draft so many of the different pleadings, etc. Let me know if anyone else is feeling the same way. I wish that we had a class that went over all those things that are such a large part of law practice. I know how to think like a lawyer a little, but I don't really know how to be one yet!!!!! Right now I am sifting through a ton of material for a case that was given to us, and I hope to be able to move through the boxes of papers a little faster than I did today. I have also been working on four cases, and can't believe that so many of these attorneys have at least ten times that many cases open for work at a time. Talk about time management. I am also feeling that I need to take as many advanced legal research classes as I can before I graduate. I want be able to research things more quickly and efficiently. It will make a world of difference. I wish that I could have a little Steve Averett in my pocket whenever I wanted to bring him out and ask him a research question. That and he is the nicest man ever and always makes me feel good about being alive!!!! Hope that everyone is doing well and I look forward to reading about all your legal and non-legal/normal life adventures that we have been craving all year. I will post again soon once I have done something that is AMAZING!!!!

Josh -- Property Nightmares

2005-05-08T16:32:00.000-06:00

Things are pretty mellow here at the U.S District Court in Salt Lake City. I would bet everyone was relieved to be finished dealing with deeds and recording acts. Well, the first project I got to work on was a crazy deed problem. I'm writing a bench memo for a summary judgment motion. There are about 29 defendants in this case, and the stack of pleadings, affidavits, exhibits, and motions is easily 2 feet tall. I think the clerks were just dreading this project and put it off until they got some poor extern to dig through the muck. The plaintiff's reply motion was filed over 2 months ago, but nothing has been done with it. I get to sort through descriptions like "the south half of the southwest quarter of section 15 . . ." Other than this hairy project, things are pretty good. The clerks I'm working with are friendly and the judge is extremely nice. I'm living in SLC and can either take my bike or TRAX to work. Speaking of which, I've been mountain biking and trying to restore fitness to my body and lose the flourescent tan I have. I hope to hear good things from everyone else.

Randall the Kiwi

2005-05-08T16:30:00.000-06:00

Hello my friends in jurisprudence (suckers). Anyway, I believe I was first to jump ship-- provo, that is, and now I find my self in lovely New Zealand. It is gorgeous here. One day I shall return with money. However poor I may be, though, I am still enjoying the country. It is to my taste, and there is just the right amount of sick crime to keep my nostalgia for Echohawk's class at bay. I have spent a good portion of my stay thus far in court, because my mentor is a barrister-- a defense attourney. A really good one, at that. Of course, my measure of a good attourney is largely based upon their ability to make the other side's witnesses cry during cross-examination, so my estimate may not be the most reliable. Naw, just kidding-- he is really good, though, and widely respected. And a cool guy. Everything is going awesomely, but if one of you wants to anonymously forward me about a thousand bucks so I can get my bungee/skydive/zorb/luge/jetboat/glow-worm cave on, that would be tight, because previously unbeknownst to me, NZ is the extreme sports capital of the Earth. Okay, this is the first of presumably several chapters to come, so keep your ear to the wheel, your nose to the ground, and your shoulder to the grindstone!~Randall

PHOTOS INCLUDED!!! -- http://spaces.msn.com/members/nateinaustralia/
Go to the photo album and click Randall the Kiwi.

Church

2005-05-08T16:28:00.000-06:00

I was actually excited to go to church yesterday. I wish I could say that is my feeling every week, but sadly, I have come to dread Sundays. Maybe it was because some people confuse the lesson with their political agendas. Maybe it was because everyone takes everything so seriously in the student wards I’ve been to. All I know is that I really enjoyed church yesterday.

Differences

2005-05-08T16:26:00.000-06:00

It always takes time to get used to the differences in a new place. But when you move to a new country, this means more than just figuring out where to buy groceries. I think the first thing I noticed here was the birds. The mornings are absolutely raucous with the noise of birds here. As I walked out of my apartment, I discovered why. All of the birds that I had only seen in zoos and aviaries before this were now just thick in the trees. A mob of cockatoos were attacking this person’s front yard. Lorakeets and these big ibis-type birds are as common as pigeons in the streets.

The next thing that is different is driving on the left. I haven’t yet driven, but just crossing streets is a worry. I thought I had gotten used to this in Japan, but I still catch myself looking the wrong way for cars and gasping when we make a right turn.

The stars are different here as well. I have never been in the southern hemisphere before. One of the things I enjoyed previously to this trip is that no matter where I was, I knew that I would see the same stars. I don’t know the stars now. I’m still trying to decide which one is the southern cross.

So, a question: what are the things that are the most different about where you are right now? Share your experiences!

PHOTOS INCLUDED! Go to http://spaces.msn.com/members/nateinaustralia/ and look at Differences.